If you didn't click the link in the title, bear with me for I am about to explain the mystery that is this older posting.
A little over two months ago, J_ broke up with me. It sucked. It sucked in ways that words can't (at least my words can't) describe. I was totally, head over heels, ridiculously in love with that girl, in a way that I had never been with anyone before in my life. In that stupid movie and storybook way love is always described, but not believed by said reader until experiencing it him or herself. The story of the break up really isn't that interesting unto itself. I loved her, her feelings for me had changed. It happens, and I'm not the first person that it's happened to (in fact I can recall a time in my life when the situation was almost exactly reversed), nor will I be the last. C'est la vie.
The reason I bring this up now, instead of two months ago, the emotions were a bit too raw, and I kinda, sorta, secretly hoped we'd get back together. This past Friday I finally took her pictures out of my wallet the finality of the break up only now realized. We still talk, J_ and I, a bit over the phone, and e-mail. And we've even hung out once or twice since, but as friends and nothing else.
Which I guess brings me to my new point. If any of you lovely ladies out there are looking for a mildly emotionally crippled guy who's a bit still hung up on his ex-girlfriend, I am now officially available.
P.S. Only time will tell if I'll ever reveal the secret behind this posting, let's keep our fingers crossed that the answer will someday be yes.
In Which I Cry
2 weeks ago