Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Death of a poetry student: a poem

My Last Will and Testament
What I leave behind.

Prologue: A social commentary in five oblique parts describing why my dog died when I was five and why I’m scarred for life, doomed to live an insane lifestyle only the true artist can understand.

1) At the end of each sentence a fellow student laughs and comments to the irritation of others. She did not kill my dog but I would prefer that she had so I'll have a legitimate reason for my hatred.

2) The voices I pretend I hear tell me to write with indifference. I am a genius never to be understood in my lifetime. Thus, I must drink myself into a stupor and ingest multitudes of legal and illegal narcotics. And when I hear a car drive by followed by the barking of a dog I shed a tear.

3) The lost song of my loved one, never met as of now. I dream of her loving touch. Her caress to soothe me from my overbearing pain.

4) I remember being made fun of in high school. This is why I now wear only black and smoke only exotic foreign cigarettes. This is why I have a tattoo of e.e. cummings as a vampire displayed across my back. This is why I scoff at anything less than inspired.

5) Then I remember I never had a dog. In fact I’m allergic to dogs. Just more of my deep inner pain.

Epilogue: Finally. I expect to die an early death, most likely a suicide. My note left to the living shall be written in haiku, preferably in the original Japanese. I expect my words to be ignored until my tragic end wherein critics suddenly change their minds and my genius is finally realized.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Cornucopia of ideas (or lack there of)

So I'm trying to add a link from my site to an exhibit on Kevin Bank's Website. Kevin, being the man who so graciously has decided to work with me on a comic book. It's a great exhibit about what various people have done during their various periods of unemployment. I don't really understand how all this works yet so if the link doesn't appear, of if it doesn't work for whatever reason, it is entirely my fault. Here it is, I hope it works. What do you do?

I was talking to my friend Jason Chernock this evening and he asked why I didn't have a blog. I have an abundance of free time and all I ever seem to do is write, the connection seemed obvious to him. He went on to elaborate that everyone and their second cousin has a blog. I told him that I did in fact start a blog but was upon late feeling uninspired to work on it. One reason is most people are very boring and stupid. We might think we re interesting so we post, because the world should know what we think. Unfortunately what we think is most likely wrong and to a certain extent egocentric. (yet I do this anyway, but to follow in the lead of our current commander in chief, Hypocrisy be damned)

And though I've gone over this in the last few blogs, this is about what's on my mind, and apparently not much has happened in that area for a while.

I was thinking to model this after Peter David's blog site (see the link in my small but ever growing, if I get around to it, link section on the bottom right). He talks about what ever happens to be on his mind, often about his writing (he writes excellent novels and brilliant comic books professionally), sometimes about his life and family, and occasionally about his politics (most of which I agree). I don't think I have much to add in regards to a political debate, I believe what I believe, but most others articulate said belief's better than I do. So politics is out. Talking about myself too much is far to egocentric, and I don't think I'd want to read these posts if I wasn't me (though there will be posts about me, I just can't help it). Note to self: try to lay off other bloggers, they're probably good people and you're just getting mean about it now.

So that leaves my writing. I think, if I keep this blog, I shall dedicate it to my creative endeavors, and let the nonexistent readers (save you Jason) read my work.

But that's only my idea right now, can't say it'll be the same as day breaks upon the morrow.

Hopefully my next post will be funnier, because if you can't be smart at least be funny.

Uhh... Carry on then

Monday, January 17, 2005

Jump and jive

Man it's late. I don't know why I'm up this late. I gotta get out of my freaking house man. Totally got cabin fever and it's snowing again. I need an outlet. I think I need to get stoned. I haven't been stoned in seven months and I like not being stoned, but the craving has hit. Luckily (in a not so lucky way) I'm completely flat broke and can't afford to buy any toilet paper, let alone any pot. And by flat broke, I mean I owe the bank about one hundred dollars, and don't have any thing else of value save my computer, my playstation two, and my comic books. Man I'm a dork. I definitely need to get out of the house.

I need a creative outlet. I need a job. I need a life. I need a fuck. I need a lot but I'm not going to get it anytime soon. Well, hopefully not too long, I'm am trying.

I was taking to someone recently in Newton, Massachusetts, and he told me that there are two types of unemployed people. There's the kind that sits at home and watches daytime television and complains that the economy sucks. And there are the people that take the time to better themselves, to do some serious introspection, and pull everything together and after it all, get a job. I think I'm the former, though now I am going to try to be the latter. My first step was to talk with this person of sound advice. He is going to illustrate a comic book I have written. I'm doing something, not just sitting on my ass anymore. This is a step. A good step.

On a side note I haven't touched my novel (up to page 101) in probably three months. I'm not even halfway done.

So who really knows?

Umm.. that's it I guess.

Carry on then,

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

seen a scene?

I'm going nuts. I need a new scene, by which I mean, I'm writing a screenplay, (not because I'm getting paid to do so, but because I hope to be paid to do so) and I have a crappy scene. It's trash. Not only is it the opposite of funny, it's a rip off of a Woody Allen bit. And though I like the original scene (Woody's) I can't use mine. It's just wrong.

So I've been staring and the screen for freaking ever.

That's it I guess.

Carry on then.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

aww crap

I was reading the news and came across an article published by Reuters which has a quote from the US Attorney General Nominee Alberto Gonzales. When asked by Arlen Spector, a republican senator from Pennsylvania, if he (Gonzales) condemns the torture techniques featured in the now widely publicized images from abu Grahib. Gonzales response:

"Let me say senator that as a human being I am sickened and outraged by those photos," Gonzales said.

Now, not having read the transcript, and perhaps this is just poor reporting, but it seem so to me that Gonzales didn't actually answer the question. He was sickened and outraged by those photo's sure, you'd have to have a heart of stone not to be, but as his position as deputy attorney general, and now as attorney general, does he condemn those techniques? I don't know. he didn't say. He might very well not condemn them. There is a difference between not liking something but accepting it as necessary and condemning something altogether.

But that's just my thoughts.

Uh... Carry on then

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

First thoughts

I don't think I've ever been in love.

I'm just trying to get a handle on what to post and what not to post. I've been doing a little (read: extremely little) research by reading other blogs. I have come to understand that I might not be self-absorbed enough to update the world as to my daily life (complaints, achievements, ect.), nor am I updated or knowledgeable enough about worldly events to post "news."

Do I think anyone in their right mind is ever going to read this? Probably not, so for whom do I write? (notice the grammar, I have a B.F.A in writing, but it really hasn't gotten me anywhere, rather I haven't gotten me anywhere)

I'm flat broke and have to put in a deferment for my student loans, something I should have done a while ago but, for reasons unbeknownst even to myself, I have not. So I'm going to the post office today. right after I fill it out.

It's snowing. I have no car. I have a bike. I hate biking in the snow. It's my own fault. I need a new helmet, one that will keep my ears warm in the snow. My ears get cold very easily.

My uncle had a stroke on saturday.

I am not a coin operated boy, though I have given it thought.

Euripedes, you buy-a-dese.

How do I know if I've ever been in love. I've seen to many movies, I think I might be confused between real romantic love and hollywood romance.

Food for thought, though my brain couldn't take another bite.

I've heard of some people who are so open minded their brain has fallen out.

I think I have an artist to draw a comic for me.

Uhh.. Carry on then,

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

the end of what was

Never having written a blog or any such sort I am, one can say, at a loss. Needless to say this is just the first.

uhh.. carry on then.