Tuesday, December 30, 2008


I think that the attack on Gaza right now is horrible. I think the entire situation in the region is fucked beyond belief. Because though I think this is a disproportionate response to Hamas, and the Palestinian people in Gaza, I can't think of a proportionate response, or what that even means in context. As of the end of November 1212 rockets and 1290 mortar bombs were fired into Southern Israel. In an article I read on Sunday in the new york times (which I don't have access to online to reference) 300 rockets were fired into Israel last week alone right after the cease fire ended.

What Israel is doing I think is wrong, but there doesn't seem to be a right thing to do. What is the proportional response to almost 3000 rockets/mortar bombs, fired into one's country over the course of a year? Because what they were doing before didn't seem to be working to get it to stop.

And how does one negotiate with an organization that calls for one's destruction?

None of this is an excuse for Israel, just honest issues that as a Jew, a supporter of Israel, and of Peace, that I struggle with every day.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

too much

I was going to post about my best friends wedding and work my way backwards to my trip to hong kong, and I will, but probably next week.

I just learned that another good friend's, someone else who was a groomsman at the wedding, mother passed away yesterday. It was expected as she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, but it's still very sad. She is survived by her husband, and three grown children.

The funeral is on Thursday from what I've heard and I will be attending. I'm hoping this is the last funeral I'll be attending in a while. Though my great aunt was recently rushed to the hospital with pneumonia. Last I heard she was doing better, but right now I'm trying not to take anything for granted.

There has been a lot of happiness in my life recently, but it's constantly being tempered with bad news like this. My thoughts and well wishes go out to my friend, and his family.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

No title

I was going to start posting about my trip to Hong Kong, which was pretty amazing, but I can't get my camera to connect to my computer, thus I can't post any pictures. Once I manage to figure out the problem, I shall post all about my trip, pictures and all (even if you aren't interested in seeing them).

But as of right now I've lost a interest in all this. A friend of mine, a few weeks shy of 22, passed away in his sleep last night. His mom walked in and thought he was still asleep, but when she tried to wake him, she realized he had passed on. We don't know the cause of death, though heart disease does run in his family. He was a really great person, a bit loud, and sometimes annoying, but had a great big heart, and was one of the funniest guys I've known. He had a problem with drugs and alcohol in the past, but had cleaned up his act and putting his life back together. He was sober for at least 6 months prior to today, and we were all very proud of him. He was finishing up a degree at Queens college and wanted to go to law school after he graduated, and some day run for office. He was a big goofy oaf of a man, and he wanted to do good in the world.

I just saw him yesterday, we worked together at Starbucks. He seemed fine, healthy, and at the top of his game. For lack of a better way of saying this, but it's just sad. I can't get used to writing all this in the past tense. It's all too depressing.

I have a wedding to go to this weekend, I'm the best man. I'm all very hectic emotionally right now, and need time to settle (He would have made fun of me for being all girly with emotions).

So I might not post for a while. Not that I post regularly anyway, but right now it just isn't on my mind.

Take care.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Around the world and back again

So, I'm far too busy lazy to blog in a regular fashion, which is why it comes out in dribs and drabs.

Obama won as we all know. I voted for him and it was the first time I voted for a winning Presidential candidate. My previous two Presidential voting experiences my candidate lost. I thought maybe my vote was the kiss of death and I contemplated voting for McCain giving him the kiss of death I gave to Gore and Kerry so he would lose. Luckily I didn't have to, as my vote clearly isn't a death knell. Obama won and we are all happy about it. Since everyone and their grandma has already commented on the historic importance of this election I don't think I need to write on it. Suffice to say it's about time we've had our first Hawaiin president. Did you know aside from being the first president from Hawaii, Obama is also the first president who is an undergraduate alum of Columbia University? Two historic firsts in one man, how amazing is that?

Moving on, to even further in the past.

Nashville was fun, and drunk. Very very drunk. I can't remember the last time I drank so much in one weekend (possibly because I was very drunk at the time). One the down side we only went to one authentic honkey tonk country western bar and I would have preferred more, if only to get a more authentic experience that I can't get up in New York. Perhaps being from Atlanta the majority of the folks wanted bars that weren't country or southern-y. It was the only bar we went to with live music and it kicked ass in my humble opinion. I have never loved country music more in my life and probably never will - as I don't care for it that much to begin with - but that evening listening to it live I was enthralled and getting my country on (as the kids say).

I was hoping we would do something interesting in Nashville during the day on saturday, but the day was spent indoors in our hotel drinking bloody mary's watching college football. But c'est la vie. I had fun, but it wasn't my bachelor party and Jason had a blast and that's all that matters.

One highlight, extremely drunk on Friday night, some friends were hungry, and nothing was open save a taco bell drive through. We waited on line sans and automobile, but wouldn't get served since apparently it's unsafe for them to serve people outside of a car. I don't exactly understand how this can be, but no car, no food. Thus my friends hopped in the back of a taxi, already occupied and waiting on line for food, to order. They freaked the girl out in the front seat, but the taxi drive was cool and said it happens all the time. All the time? Really? My buddies paid for all the food, but the girl was freaked out still, and complained that they got the wrong things.

On a side note, apparently all strip clubs in Nashville are byob. It was my first strip club experience and I can tell you I wasn't that impressed. It was a very nice strip club, and though I like breasts as much (or even more) than next guy, to me there is something very unsexy about a woman dancing naked for strangers for money. It just doesn't get me going. I didn't get a lap dance as I know that I'd want to apologize to the stripper the entire time. I don't know what I'd be apologizing for, something along the lines of "I'm sorry we couldn't meet under better circumstances." Or "I'm sorry you are forced to do this to make a living." Or something equally stupid and condescending, as they probably like their job more than I like mine, and make more money than me to boot. I skipped out early with two other guys who didn't care for the club that much either. I don't feel like I missed out on anything as from what I gathered one stripper kept talking about her dog who just had elbow surgery, and kept asking my friend the vetrenarian what she should do (and consequently every one she gave a lap dance to afterwards). Another guy there I heard wound up giving a lecture while getting a lap dance on the importance of keeping good credit, and how to build good credit after having a bad credit rating.

Over all, a very good time, but not what I'd want to do on my bachelor party (if I'm ever to have one).

To the future.

Next Monday around noon I shall be on a plane making my way to Hong Kong. I have an HSBC bank account so I'll actually be able to use my bank card in Hong Kong and not get fined for it (even though it's a British Bank HSBC stands for Hong Kong, Shanghai Banking Corporation). So that's pretty cool. On top of that I'm going to get a prepaid credit card from AAA for travel, so if it get's lost or I get robbed I won't have to worry about anyone getting to my personal finances (I'm not going to be taking my bank card with me everywhere, I'll be leaving it securely with my passport the majority of the time). I still have to buy a camera, a long ass book to read - my flight leaves around noon on Monday and doesn't get to Hong Kong due to crossing the international date line, and a three hour layover in Seoul, until Tuesday at ten-fifty pm.

My pal who lives there said she already planned a lot of fun stuff for us to do, while I got some good advice from another friend of mine who grew up in Hong Kong (albeit the British part - as she is third generation white Hong Kong) of stuff to do and see. I'm going to buy a guide book and look up stuff on my own because I'll have a good deal of time on my own and I want to see as much as I can. It's going to wicked expensive since most of Hong Kong from what I understand is mostly shopping. Maybe I'll get a suit some pants or shirts tailor made for me. Probably not, but who knows.

I think that's it for now. I just got the new Firewater and Fleet Foxes albums. The Firewater album is awesome, and though I wasn't the biggest fan the the Fleet Foxes album it has been growing on me.

The end, probably until I come back from the far east. Have a delicious Thanksgiving for those of you who might celebrate the turkeyiest of holidays. And for those of you who don't well, you should. It's a delicious holiday, even if it's as fictitious as Christmas.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

the inconvinence of truth

I've been absent, here's what you missed:

It's official. I'm going to vacation in Hong Kong in November. I've been on the fence for a bit, but expense be damned. I haven't really traveled and taken more than two days of vacation in over a gazillion years (literally). It's only going to be for a week, but if all goes well it will be a very good week. I shall be staying with a friend who is currently semestering over there, which will cut down on my expenses tremendously. I am quite pleased.

I've never seen a traditional Korean wedding ceremony and I guess I never will. My buddy Koo got married two weeks ago and because mapquest should really be called "the most ass backwards way of getting from point a to point b dot com" we (Natasia and I) got there late and missed the wedding. We arrived just in time for the reception. The food was pretty good (from what I had of it - lots of meat, lots of Korean stuff I was too scared to eat because I didn't know what was in it and I'm a coward) and we were sat with the only other white couple there. On the down side the best man gave the worst toast I have ever heard in my entire life. Things one should never say during a best man toast: "Ladies, I'm single and looking for a sugar mama." followed by "Also I am completely broke so anyone qualifies." A best man toast is not the time to practice your AA material. Don't talk about the hard life you've been having. How you had no one to talk too, how you felt estranged from your best friend, but thanks to Jesus everything is OK now. And most of all, it's a toast. It should be no more than five minutes not nearly a half an hour. I wish I had a time machine so I could talk to this best man and set him straight.

Lots of other travel is coming up, I am going to Nashville Tennessee this weekend for a bachelor party. I will write more on that after the fact.

Last little thought of the day. Who are the idiots out there who are still undecided? The two candidates have been running for over a year now. If you don't know which one you like better that means you haven't read a newspaper, watched a single bit of television, listened to the radio, checked your e-mail, or surfed any part of the internet for over a year. Or, you are incredibly stupid (and probably ugly to boot). Either way, if either one of those two things are true you don't deserve the right to vote. I don't care which candidate you've decided on (well I do care, but that is an all together different rant), but if you claim you don't know the candidates well enough yet, you haven't been fucking paying attention and I hate you. And for all of you undecided who can't make up your mind because even though you think Obama would be better you aren't sure if you can vote for a black man, You are what's wrong with this country and I hate you even more. If you really loved America like you say you do you'd kill yourself for the betterment of the rest of us.

That is all for now.


Thursday, September 25, 2008

I love sarah silverman

This is hilarious, especially if you are jewish. Watch it!

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Monday, September 22, 2008

The End is Nigh

Recently all of my dreams seem to have something to do with an apocalypse of some sort. Either a world wide end, or a more personal apocalypse which only affects my family and friends.

Not a pleasant way to spend what should be more restful sleep. I don't usually remember my dreams, but the ones as of late have been quite vivid.

I don't know. It's just putting me off and keeping me on edge during my waking hours. Everything just feels different.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Another vid

So really I have nothing much to say today, but I found this video and it made me laugh so I figured I'd share. Hooray internets.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Two things

The first is that the world did not end today. So hooray world! That's one for science and nothing for irrational fears of science and human development. That brings the total score to... well science is still far behind as there are still people who believe that the world is flat. But Science is definitely catching up. So hooray for science as well.

The second things is why is it that a celebrity seems to be able to speak more succinctly as to the problem with Sarah Palin as the vice-presidential nominee than anyone else I've heard so far?

Monday, September 08, 2008

In an infinit universe I cannot confirm or deny anything

The weekend happened. That can be said for certain. Anything beyond that is anyone's guess.

Things that may or may not have occurred this weekend:

- The universe, inexplicably (as most things in the universe are) imploded and life as we knew it ended, only to explode, expanded and pick things off exactly where it left off, leaving none of us residents of this new universe any the wiser.

- I went to a small music festival to raise money for Food Not Bombs called Feminfest in a clearly condemned buiding.

- A small boy off the coast of Maine realized that he wants to be an train engineer when he grows up. The fact that all trains that survive in the future will be run by robots will be no deterrent to this little boy, as he also realized he wants to be a robot when he grows up.

- I had three cheese tortellini for dinner at my brother's apartment on Friday night and discussed how we would make the next Superman movie if we were able to start from scratch. I'd keep Lex Luthor as the main villain, while he would prefer someone not seen in the movies yet, like Brianiac.

- Bands that played in the music festival in the lower east side Plastiq Passion, She Knows Best, She Eats Planets, Shiragirl, In Deepest Sleep, and Mal Blum.

- The bands in question were mostly punk, and mostly lesbian (throughout the course of my adult life I have had a strange affinity with lesbians, remind me to tell you about it sometime).

- The current President of the United States realized the sort of mess he created, felt really bad about it for a minute, then realized that it was too late to fix his mess, and decided the person who gets the job next can sort it all out. Basically how the previous president felt, and the one previous to that, going all the way back to President Washington - who really did try his best to do the right things.

- I secretly fell in love with the drummer of Plastiq Passion, who was pretty cute (a plus), a drummer (for some reason I'm a sucker for girl drummers), and wore a Superman T-shirt that said SAVE ME on the back (very sexy to a complete dork like me). It is of course not meant to be as I will never see her again, and am pretty sure she's dating the lead singer, who I wasn't positive was a girl, until it was pointed out to me by my only friend at the show (who is one of the trio from She Knows Best - the whole reason I went to the festival in the first place).

- 70 Million Light years away, on a small red-green-ish planet orbiting around a type O blue star, a singular inhabitant figured out how to keep everyone in the entire universe happy, and create a peaceful co-existence for everyone - even people it didn't know. This sudden epiphany drew its attention away from everything else, and didn't see the flight of stairs, which it consequently fell down. The fall snapped its fragile body in two. Since it was not the type of creature that could live in two separate pieces it died, taking the secret of eternal happiness with it to the grave.

- Of the bands I saw, I would recommend (in the order that they played at the show) Plastiq Passion, She Knows Best, and Mal Blum.

More things may or may not have occurred, but if I were to list all every possible occurrence of this past weekend this post will never end.

Happy week to you all.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Basically what I think about politicians

These are not my thoughts but I agree with them whole heartedly.

From Chapter 28 in Douglas Adams' The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

The major problem - one of the major problems, for there are several - one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made president should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

I can't say it better myself, which is why I don't care how exciting a speaker is, or how much any candidate offers change (see both democrat and republican conventions for details) if you want to be president, I just don't trust you. People are definitely a problem.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

idea for a story

Main character starts off as an evil bastard. Comes from a very shakespearian background. Step father killed his actually father to take over the family business (something verging on mob related with out actually going into mafia styled cliche). Main character was abused by his real father, but left with enough dough never to have to work, ever. Thinks he's bad-ass, really just a bit psychotic. Decides to kill his step-father and mother for having his father killed (even though he hated his father, this guy is the kind of fucked up that it doesn't matter).

His plan fails miserably, and he gets shot in the head by his step-father after being tortured for a bit.

He wakes up alive a few days later where ever his body was dumped (swamp, shallow grave, river, whatever). He is completely unharmed, as if he was never shot in the first place.

He tries to go back to his life, but has a new sense of calm that he never had before. he starts taking the time to figure out who he is, what sort of guy he was and who he wants to be. A real soul searching. He is not the same guy he was before he was killed. He meets a girl of course. A girl who he knew back before he died. She was the only one in the local coffeeshop/diner/wherever that he went to regularly that dealt with him. All the other employees hated helping him. She hated it too, but would bear it because she's just a very nice person. He's changed and he apologizes and they start talking. Through the story, though it isn't a love story, she helps him find himself. They don't fall in love. More of a mutual understanding. He helps her with some sort of problem she's having. I don't know. Crazy ex-boyfriend, back payment on student loans, something pretty common to all people, the shit we all have to deal with, only for her multiplied a bit.

His parents wanted to cash in on his small fortune, thinking that he's dead. they discover he's still alive somehow. He starts interacting with them a bit, as if nothing ever happened. Freaking them out. He's torn. Does he want to try and move on with his life or does he want his revenge?

His step-dad attacks, and this takes him back to all the old shit he had to deal with. he can't get in contact with the girl, and decides that he's going back for the step-dad.

epic fight, this time though he wins. His step-dad is at his mercy. He has one final option, kill him, or walk away. He kills him. Shooting his step-father through the head just like he was shot.

He walks away, feeling satisfied, when he feels a trickle of blood down his forhead. he reaches up and discovers that the wound that killed him in the beginning returns just as magically and mysteriously as it left. he falls down dead.

He leaves his money to the girl and this helps her solve whatever big problem she had.

Themes to touch on: the purpose of self-discovery, can someone ever really change, and revenge as not only useless, but detrimental.

Nothing that original, which is why I'm posting it here in this form instead of really trying to write it out. Maybe as a short story. I don't know. Needs a lot of work.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Movies for boys and girls together

Earlier today I was asked to shred a ton of paper's for Bob's office at Tribeca, and it seemed to be pretty pointless. Basically anything that had his name on it had to be shredded, even if it didn't have his address or phone number. I would have rather recycled it, but I understand the need for privacy in his personal life, and I respect that. One thing though that I thought was a bit superfluous was a copy of the newest draft for Little Fockers (the third in the meet the parents series). I can't imagine that anyone would be dumpster (or recycle) diving for a copy of this script, and as there are so many interns and other low rung people here who have access to the script (myself included, I've already read the script - at least this draft - and I know I'm not the only one), if this was going to get out, it probably would have already (assuming only someone low on the totem pole would leak the script). I think it's just a bit overly cautious of them, but that's just coming from someone who is a big fan of recycling (one can only recycle shredded paper if it's brought to a special drop off point, it doesn't get curbside pick up, and I don't think - though can be wrong - that we do that here). Not really a big deal as it's only about 100 pages, but still, it's the general principle that irks me.

After doing all the shredding I came back to my desk with naught else to do. All the office save one exec is off for an extended labor day weekend (lucky them). Said exec who is here, Hardy Justice, is one of the nicest guys I've ever met or worked for (and has the most kickass real name out of anyone I've ever know, topping one of my brother's friend's named - and I kid you not, his full legal name - Lightning Jay) and he's out at a lunch meeting currently. Thus, after scrolling through the job boards, I tooled around on the interweb and came across this post of movies guys and girls can enjoy together. I was a bit inspired and decided to create my own list of ten movies you can rent, lean back, and enjoy with your boyfreind/girlfreind/wife/husband/or whomever without having to worry if it's a guy flick or a chick flick.

In no particular order:

Synopsis: Nerdy guy from a small town in Victorian England promises a manipulative but beautiful girl he'll bring her a falling star as an engagement gift, and sneaks off to a magical kingdom to retrieve said star only to find the star is a beautiful girl, and must rescue her from an evil witch who wants to eat her heart to stay immortal. Of course said Nerdy guy turns into a heroic and handsome hero, while he falls in love with the star, and she with him.

What appeals to the dudes: Robert De Niro, Claire Danes, Michelle Pfiffer, explosions+magic+adventure=Awesome.
What appeals to the ladies: Beefcake lead, Claire Danes, Michelle Pfiffer, Happy lovey dovey ending.

Synopsis: If you haven't seen this movie already you have been living under a rock. Orlando Bloom must team up with scaliwag pirate Johnny Depp to save his secret love Keira Knightly from evil Zombie Pirates lead by Geoffrey Rush.

What appeals to the dudes: Johnny Depp, Sword fights, zombies, explosions (and Keira Knightly if you're into that sort of girl)
What appeals to the ladies: Johnno Depp, Orlando Bloom, (somewhat) Forbidden Romance+Victorian setting=instant chick appeal.

Synopsis: An underground flight club turns into a social revolution.

What appeals to the dudes: Intense Violence, scarily relateable psuedophilosophy that makes you feel smart, big explosions at the end.
What appeals to the ladies: Brad Pitt and Edward Norton extremely ripped and often shirtless, Strange yet endearing love story.

Synopsis: An average plane flight goes out of control when the passengers and crew all come down with a case of food poisoning. Only one man can save them, a former pilot suffering PTSD after flying rescue missions in Vietnam. Hilarity ensues.

What appeals to the dudes and the ladies: Outright hilariousness spoof. The synopsis sounds bleak but there is nothing not funny about this movie. Leslie Neilson in his first real comedy, and the Zucker Brothers at their best.

Synopsis: In a city where it's always night an amnesiac must decipher his own identity while eluding the police who want to arrest him for murder. His quest deepens when he discovers the city has a secret far scarier than his own and his search for his life turns into a battle for the minds of every citizen.

What appeals the the dudes: Jennifer Connelly, aliens+super powers+noir detective+special effects=awesomeness.
What appeals the the ladies: Jennifer Connelly, Rufus Sewall (if you're into that sort of guy), touching romance+comment on love knowing no bounds=us putty in your hands.

Synopsis: A comedy set in 1940's Hong Kong two small time hoodlums try to break into the notorious Axe Gang, but wind up saving the small slum in which they live from the gang and the most deadly martial artist in the world.

What appeals to the kid in all of us: Equally awesome and hilarious Kung Fu fight choreography+over the top cartoon like special effect sequences+endearing story about growth, friendship and community (and throw in a bit of love)=Stephen Chow is cooler than Jackie Chan.

Synopsis: An archeologist, a paleontologist, a mathematician, and two prepubescent kids, are trapped on an island filled with ferocious Dinosaurs.

What appeals to the dudes: Dinosaurs on the attack (need I say more?)
What appeals the the ladies: One of the few actually intelligent female characters in a leading role ever in an action movie (Laura Dern as the Paleontologist), and a grouchy old man who hates kids learns to love kids (in a healthy way).

Synopsis: An updated live action version of the classic Archie comic back up characters, who also had their own animated TV show in the 70's.

What appeals to the dudes: Rachel Leigh Cook, and Rosario Dawson (and I guess Tara Reid if you like trashy), mockery of everything that turned MTV from a cool station where you could stay up late watching headbangers ball (if you don't get the reference you make me feel very old) to a 12 year old girls wet dream.
What appeals to the ladies: Empowering gals standing up, taking control, and getting it all on their own terms. Power girl rocker soundtrack.

ALIENS (or if you are the mood for something a bit more esoteric ALIEN, the third one Alien³ is totally just a guy movie and the fourth isn't worth seeing by anyone)
Synopsis: Ripley (as played by Sigourney Weaver) is stuck in outerspace fending off really creepy looking parasitic, and evil aliens (or alien if your just watching the first one), with weird double mouths and acid for blood.

What appeals the the dudes: Balls the wall sci-fi action, humans vs. the scariest looking aliens ever captured on film. (for Alien, suspense so thick not only will she be clinging to your arm, but you'll be clinging to hers).
What appeals the the ladies: Strong female lead kicking ass and taking names, Ripley is the original three dimensional badass female lead who paved the way for the few who followed in what generally is a male dominated field.

Synopsis: Two Free Range Cattle drivers run into trouble with a greedy land Baron in the old west.

What appeals to the dudes: Gun slinging, tough taking cowboys, doing what cowboys do best, drinking, killing, and saving small towns from despotic rich folk and the corrupt local law.
What appeals to the ladies: The fleshed out sensitive side of Kevin Costner as a cowboy and gunhand and the soft, subtle and quietly moving love story between him and Annette Benning.

Five Honorable Mentions (a bit more niche rentals that, though appeal to both men and women, aren't big hollywood movies, thus have a smaller demographic in general):
Samurai Champloo (not a movie but an anime TV series - one complete story told in 26 episodes, get over that it's anime and it holds up very well)
But I'm A Cheerleader
Live From Baghdad
Edward Scissorhands

If anyone has any ideas of their own they'd like to add or refute, (assuming anyone has cared to read all this) I'd love to hear them.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Dear Sucky Starbucks Customers,

A note of warning, if you are not a sucky Starbucks customer then this letter probably won't apply and you need not read its message to stop sucking. That being said, you very well maybe a sucky customer of a different establishment and might want to take that into consideration before patting yourself on the back. If you are a delightful customer then this clearly doesn't apply to you, and kudos for being delightful, you are an unfortunate rare breed of consumer who should be encouraged. If only all customers were like you the world would be an easier place to live. If you aren't sure where you fall, the chances are you're probably only a little bit sucky, which can be easily rectified. With that warning in mind I shall begin.

Dear Sucky Starbucks Customers,

I'm sure you aren't bad people. You don't rape small animals, you don't torture children, you probably even pay your taxes on time, and those are all things you should be proud of. When it comes to your Coffee shop etiquette, however, you need a lot of work.

The first rule of all shopping: don't order if you don't have any enough money. I know, you are going to make a crack about Starbucks being over priced (and I'll get to that in a moment) but seriously, how hard is it to actually bring your wallet in with you? Not only are you wasting the time of the people behind you, you're wasting your time, and most importantly, my time. I can't give you the drink if you can't pay for it. Do you go to a clothing store with out enough funds and expect them to discount that shirt you really want because you're a dollar short? They'll tell you to put it back on the shelf, or hold it aside until you come back with enough money. Same works for coffee. No money, no coffee.

"I just forgot my wallet in the car. I'll run out and get it." Fine, great, may I recommend checking for your wallet before you walk into the store? You are penalizing the people behind you in, making them wait longer for their drinks, while you run to your car. Here's how it works. You stand in line, you order a drink, I call out the drink to the barista, the barista makes the drink while you pay. If you can't pay, the drink is still made because we assume you have the fucking money. Thus the people behind you, who could have ordered now must wait longer for their drinks because the drink you ordered but can't pay for is wasting their time. So what's a minute or so? Well, people I've found are generally cranky, people in dire need of affine are even crankier, and you're delaying their caffeine fix. I'm sure you can do the math on this one. Also, we aren't going to remake your drink because you're an idiot who can't keep track of your wallet. Your drink will be sitting out for you until you come and pay for it, meaning it will be cold (or warm if it is supposed to be cold) when you finally get it. And is that really what you want? No it is not.

Yes, Starbucks lingo is pretty stupid sounding. I know it's difficult to remember the name of the decaf, double tall, no foam, extra vanilla, breve caramel macchiatto that you love. But guess what, you don't have to remember all that. All you have to do is tell the person working the register what you want in your drink. If you want three shots extra of espresso, just say, "with three extra shots of espresso" and we'll do it for you. If you want half and half just say so. You don't have to speak in Starbucks-ese. Those of us who work behind the counter call it out in a certain Starbucks way because it actually makes the job easier. I say "double tall, breve, no foam latte" to the person making the drink because it's easier and quicker than saying, a tall latte with two shots of espresso and half and half with no foam. Just like diners have their own lingo, so do we. A Tall is a small, Grande is a medium, and Venti is a large. If you can't remember that (and no one is asking you to) just say small, medium, or large. We understand English. Most of us working don't really care what you say. For the love of god, people, jokes made about the names of the sizes or how we call out drinks stopped being funny in the early ninties. You aren't being clever, just annoying and derivative. Get over yourself. If you want to engage me in conversation that's cool. Management would like nothing less than a personal connection with each customer. But I can only hear the same comment so many times before I want to kill you. Talk about something more interesting, like the weather, or the Olympics, or even the Yankees (though I would prefer the Red Sox). You aren't funny, just fifteen years behind the times. Move on.

I'm only going to say this once, I have no control over the prices of any of the food or beverages we sell. Complaining to me will not get the prices to change. Telling me "well, this is why Starbucks is doing so poorly right now." Or "Coffee shouldn't be this expensive." Won't make me sympathetic to you. In fact every time I hear that (which is far too often) I have to resist the urge of spitting in your drink.

What you are paying for when you shop at Starbucks: A livelyhood for coffee farmers. It shouldn't be a shock to learn that just like every other independent farmer coffee growers are regularly screwed by everyone else. In fact the price of coffee beans is so undervalued that farmers barely survive on their coffee, if they can survive at all.

Starbucks is far from perfect in regards to the treatment of their growers, however, compared to almost every other multinational coffee company, They are practically saints. Because it's comparative that isn't really saying much, and more should be done, but that would make the price of coffee get even higher, and I know you'd hate that, no matter how many people it will help.

Another thing you're paying for when you shop at Starbucks: My health insurance. Unlike many other fast food companies (and that's really what Starbucks is turning into) they actually treat their employees well. As long as I continue to work at least 20 hours a week I get health insurance, vision, and dental. I also get stock options, and paid vacation hours. I am treated very well by my employers. In fact I think Starbucks should be the template for all other fast food places when it comes to treatment of employees. I lived for two whole years without insurance and believe me, it is not fun at all. If you think that complaining about the price (ie, the fact that Starbucks cares for its employees well being) is somehow going to endear me to you, well you're a fucking moron. If you are such a miserable bastard that thinks just because I work in food service means I should be treated like shit then fuck you. How about I go to your office and complain that you get paid too much to your face and that you don't deserve health benefits because it's mildly inconvenient to me? I'm sure that would make us the best of friends.

If you really think that Starbucks is over priced, I have a simple solution, don't go there. There are other places for coffee. Dunkin' Donuts, Tim Horton's, McDonalds, Burger King, Krispe Kreme, every side of the road and greasy spoon diner, and every 7-11 and every other convenience store known to man all sell coffee cheaper than Starbucks. If you really don't want to pay Starbucks prices you have plenty of options. So stop your damn complaining no one if forcing you to come here.

You are welcome to use our bathroom, even if you don't purchase anything. I'm a human being, I too use the bathroom. It's OK. What isn't OK: peeing or shitting all over the floor. The toilet exists for a reason, use it. After you wash your hands put the used paper towels in the garbage. This really isn't brain surgery. It's right next to the sink. Use it! Speaking of the garbage, if you are going to shoot up in there - fine I could care less - just don't throw the needles away in our garbage. That's an accident waiting to happen. I don't want to get what ever disease you might have getting stabbed through a garbage bag by your syringe because you are an inconsiderate junkie. This goes to the diabetics as well. Please discard your syringe safely. Lastly, and I can't stress this point enough, FLUSH THE FUCKING TOILET WHEN YOU ARE DONE. I don't think I need to explain this last one.

There is more, but those are the key points and this letter is long enough already. Please try and stop being so sucky.

Thank you.


P.S. to you fellow employees of Starbucks, if a customer asks for a small, don't correct them. If they really have that hard of a time remembering what size is called what, even though based on price on the menu alone and the cups on display it should be obvious, then it's just not worth your time. Don't be a dick about it, OK? Thanks.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Nastia is so nice (worst - and most likely most over used - pun ever!)

Worked a fifteen hour shift today. Got home at 11 in the PM. Stayed up late to watch the Olympics and then the most recent episode of Madmen (DVRed it - though am not sure if DVRed is the way to Verbificate DVR). Now for some reason I'm blogging in bed (hooray lap top computers) about how tired I am and how much I should go to sleep.

An open letter to all the Starbucks customers who piss me off is definitely forthcoming. Unless something spectacular happens in my life that I must write about it will be the next post.

And sucks for Nastia Luikin, who tied for gold, only to get silver. The system is messed up. That shouldn't stand (and if people can share gold in other sports, why not gymnastics? or am I wrong about the other sports?). Boo to the judges - I'm looking at you australia, but hooray for Nastia for being awesome.

Friday, August 15, 2008

When Fans unite why is it always in hate?

Just saw The Dark Knight for the second time last night (this time in IMax). It's a good movie. Flat out a good movie. It's broken many, many box office records all over the world showing that I'm clearly not the only one that thinks it's a good movie. Chances are you find a random person on the street and ask them what they think of the movie they'll tell you they liked it (provided they saw it).

So why don't comic book fans like it as much as everyone else?
Exhibit A: Joe Rice at Comic book Resources.

I was going to give an exhibit B but it was the New Yorker magazine guy, and he hates movies. I don't know why they even have him review for them.

I know that Comic book resources doesn't speak for all comic fans, and I'm sure there are plenty of other comic book websites that I don't know about since I don't really care about the websites and future spoilers, and though I like comic books, I don't obsess over them. Given that, and I'd like you to please bear with me, I want to use this as an entry as to why comic book fans will never be happy with any comic book adaptation. Are you ready for it?

Because they thing they can do it better themselves. It's that simple. And 99.9% of them are wrong. They can't do it better. Because even if they somehow get the chance to make a new Batman, Hulk, Spider-man, Superman, or whoever-man movie, there'd be other comic book fans complaining that they got it wrong.

Thus, as a comic book fan myself, I've decided to stop comparing the comic to the movie and vice-versa, and try and judge them as complete separate entities.

When the Watchmen movie comes out I'll try to hold off any judgment until I see it, and not compare it to the Graphic novel on which it is based. Really, I don't want to turn into one of those crazy fans who hate everything, yet spend there money on all the things they claim they hate (and if any body out there who reads this also reads Secret Invasion, Final Crisis, or any major crossover in the Marvel and DC universe, you know what I'm taking about).

Saturday, August 02, 2008

oh crap

I was playing around with a template and accidently chose a new one (wanted to preview, didn't realize what I was doing) and consequently lost all my old links. I had them saved on my computer (I try to back up everything - I lost almost everything on my old computer and now back up like a mad man), but my html isn't strong enough to figure out how to put it back in. So please bear with me (the three people out there who actually bother to read this blog) while I figure out how to fix it.

How sad is it that this is what I'm doing with my Saturday night?

Thursday, July 31, 2008

I hate being such a sucker

I don't know if I'd call myself a gamer. I do enjoy playing the occasional video game. I'll buy games every so often if I've beaten an older game, but usually buy my games used, spending no more than 15 bucks a game). So though I might spend some time (all right I admit, if I find a game I like some time might turn into five hours straight) every so often playing a video game I don't do the whole MMORPG (second and third definitions down are the best) thing.

MMORPG's don't thrill me. I don't generally like talking with strangers on the internet (and I definitely don't like strangers in real life, let alone the internet), I don't like games that continue when I'm not playing, and I don't like playing video games with no definitive ending. I need to beat a game to make it feel like it was worthwhile and that my money was well spent. I play for that pseudo sense of accomplishment. MMORPG's just go on for ever and ever. Not my thing. Not a big enough dork to get into the whole role playing aspect of it. Well maybe I am a big enough dork, but a completely different type of dork.

What type of dork am I? I'm the type that even though I'm not really interested in MMORPG's I'm probably going to sign up and play this:

Behind the Scenes/Making of DC Universe Online

Because who in their right mind wouldn't want to be able to play in an open ended DC comic book universe.

Like I said, I'm a sucker.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

hip, hip, and so forth

Today is my birthday.

Hooray me.

forget all those other things I wanted. What I really want now is one of these:

And here I thought Night At the Museum was just a really crappy Ben Stiller movie. Who knew it was real?

Really, who wouldn't want their own dinosaur?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Funny (even if misspelled - and if you've ever read my posts you surely can't blame him)

So my brother, along with some of his art school buddies have an art blog that they post on. It's mostly how they keep in touch with each other post college, and help critique each others works in progress. They do occasionally post some interesting stuff about comic book art and animation in general, so feel free to check it out if you desire.

I finally linked it in my list of links (been meaning to for a while). Since this is old stuff I figured I'd repost it here (until he tells me to take it down I guess) because I think it's funny .

He drew and wrote this himself and it makes me laugh every time I read it (and not because he misspelled "Scared").

And for some reason I can't seem to put the picture on this blog so I shall link to it directly. Please read and laugh.


Thursday, July 10, 2008

It's been a while

I've been contemplating eating meat again. I've been a vegetarian for about fifteen years now, and the reasons that I started are a bit less compelling to me now. I've learned a lot about food in general and based on what I've learned I still don't want meat so much. If I were to stop being a vegetarian I'd probably eat meat so infrequently to make it a moot point. It's just I don't know if I really want to take such a strong dogmatic point about it in my life anymore.

For the time being I'm still a vegetarian, I'm just giving the notion a lot more thought than before. Only time will tell I suppose.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

If you can read this you need to go outside more often

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Brought to you by nerd speak. For more info, check This out.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Don't make me angry, or horny, or make me physically exert myself, you wouldnt like me if I did any of those things

Just came back from seeing the Hulk, but I've been up since five this morning (no not waiting on line for tickets, I had to open this morning at work). I'm too sleepy right now to write a review, but one will be forthcoming before the weekend is out.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Gimme, gimme, gimme

My birthday is coming up in just over a month. I shall be 28, and even though the things I want are kinda childish, these are the things I want for my birthday (if anyone out there is so inclined to buy me a present).

Cat and Girl book two signed by Dorothy

A ticket to Hong Kong for the fall (October/November-ish) - round trip of course.

This comic book:


and the following ridiculous t-shirts:

And this poster, even though I really want it in t-shirt form

That's the short list. There is more of course (who doesn't want more stuff?) but I am tired of looking for images and links up on the interweb. Most other things I want are equally childish

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Friday, May 30, 2008

lost for lost

My hand is still killing me, but I'm not so worried about it anymore. It stopped bleeding, and I can type, but I don't think I need a doctor (which i kinda did last night).

Anyway, watched Lost last night and was disappointed, Jin was my favorite character and without him on the show I really don't care to follow the other characters and their stories. Maybe Sayed, but not really enough. Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley have gotten stale to me. I really couldn't care less about them and what happens to them. Locke is insanely annoying, and the other side characters are just mediocre. Jin and Sun had the most interesting storylines to me. Jin just isn't interesting enough without her husband. Unless it's relvealed that he's really alive next season, I'm done with Lost.

Though I must admit if they killed Jack I'd probably start watching again. He's turned into such a whiny bastard. And someone should just walk up to Ben and put a bullet in the back of his head, then nuke the island.

The End.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

what it is

I saw Shakespeare in the Park last night with J_ (she's home for the summer). It was fun, but got a little cold. Of course she didn't bring a sweatshirt so I gave her mine and was a bit too chilly to really follow the second half. I had read the play so it wasn't like I was really missing anything. The performance was alright. I think they played some scenes up for laughs a bit too much instead, making it seem a little too light hearted for a tragedy. But over all I enjoyed it as I had never been to a play in Central Park before.

Now I have to go into work to work a closing shift (until 10:45) and I think I'm going to be working with the two employees who annoy me the most.

Okey dokey, off to the salt mines.

EDIT 11:00 PM: Work was okay, but someone broke a shot glass and i didn't know. Said person cleaned up the broken glass with a bar rag, but forgot to clean out the rag afterwards. Thus later when I saw the bar rag laying in the sink at the end of the night i reached to rinse it out. I squeezed it and a shard of glass jutted from the rag and cut me very deeply in the annoying area right between the index finger and thumb. It hurts like a motherfucker and hasn't stopped bleeding yet (cut occurred a half hour ago). I'm stuck typing with one hand, and am just waiting for my Mom to finish watching the season finale of Lost so I can go down and watch it from the beginning. grahhh my hand fucking hurts.

As my pa Mercedes would say: Kill myself!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Do I really suck that bad?

I've been converting all my old files from my old computer onto my new one (a bit of an annoying process) going through what I should keep, and what I should just dump. I've come across a few gems and much more than a few really old crappy essays and stories which I promptly dumped. I found more duplicates that I was aware that I had (why did I let them take up the space on my hard drive, who knows?).

In any case this is an opinion article I submitted to a small newspaper in boston that was accepting open submissions. It was rejected, but very nicely encouredging me to try again. I never did because, I don't really know why. The point is, I know it's not even a little bit timely. In fact it's very dated, and it's a bit standard (I totally understand why it didn't it), but it isn't bad. So instead of just dumping it into the trash I figured I'd post it here as a dumping ground, so I can feel like it got used in some way in my life. I did spend some time on it, so why not make use of it. Right?

Anyway, here it is, feel free not to read it.


As I turned my TV on Tuesday morning, the first sound that echoed from the speaker was a news anchorwoman informing me that gay marriage had just been legalized in the state of Massachusetts.

Like the majority of heterosexuals in this state I was aware that there was a case at the state supreme court in this regard but I also knew that it had been in trial for a few years, and figured that it would be a few years more before anything was actually established.

Well, something was definitely established, and though this ruling realistically affects only a minority of the population, the majority of us will be up in arms, either for or against, even though it does not affect our lives. This is not a law that ensures cleaner drinking water, not a law helping fund our schools, and not a law repealing any tax or tax cut. If this ruling went the other way our lives wouldn’t have changed. Luckily, the supreme court legalized gay marriage, and you know what, us heterosexuals can still get married like before, schools are still underfunded, there’s still toxins in the water, and I haven’t seen a penny of that tax cut. I can barely tell the difference between now and then.

This ruling was a long time coming and is just the next natural progression for a free and civil society. This is the whole “All men are created equal” bit we’ve been hearing about so much since we first studied the Constitution back in grade school. We are either all created equal with the same protection under the law or we’re not. The Massachusetts Supreme Court upheld the belief that we are.

Though this ruling may not affect our lives in the secular world it will be perceived to have an impact on the religious one. I doubt I’m the first to say that the courts decision should in no way affect how marriage is upheld in as a religious ceremony. Whether or not gay marriage is something that should be instituted by the various religious institutions is not up to the state. Likewise, how a legal marriage is defined by the state should not be up to any religious group, or groups. As a religious Jew I don’t know how comfortable I am with a religious gay marriage ceremony. But the fact remains, my religious beliefs in regards to a religious marriage should be completely separate from the state’s definition of a legal marriage.

Unfortunately many people can’t make this sort of distinction. America is a secular country, regardless as to how many Christmas advertisements you might see. And as a secular country it is very important to put the secular needs of the people ahead of any religious dogma.

Hence, in keeping with the upcoming holiday spirit it’s important for us to remember, as Rabbi Hillel once said, “Do not do unto others as you would not want them to do unto you.” This means, for those of you out there who disagree with the courts ruling, you don’t have to go out of your way to embrace the gay community, just allow them to live the same rich full life you yourself wish to live.

-Amichai Greene

So there you go. Who knows what other pointless crap I can find to take up space on this blog?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I should hold onto my thoughts

So I was thinking about a political entry, only I realized I just put down all my ideas in a comment on Rawbean's blog and putting them up here would be redundant. So I was going to do a food blog instead, talk about the food system in this country, but then I realized I ranted about that not so long ago in a comment on Amber's blog, leaving me with very little to write about now.

So, instead of what could have been well thought out essays on current events you're stuck with my less well thought out rants on those previously mentioned blogs, and a bit of the rest of the random thoughts that are currently floating through my head.

I am getting totally burnt out of working at Starbucks. All my energy is just gone. Like a zombie going through the motions. And it doesn't help that I've been getting mostly closing shifts and that just kills the entire day.

Was invited to an underwear party that I couldn't go to because of my previously mentioned gripe. I probably wouldn't have gone to said party if I was able because I don't so much like people, especially strangers, and I would have known no one at said party save the hostess. And though I wouldn't mind seeing the hostess in her underwear (she's crazy hot and she knows it), I don't know how comfortable I would have been letting everyone else see me in my underwear. But it became a moot point, which is the part that's bothering me.

I liked the Iron Man movie. It was kinda predictable (who is he gonna fight but another big Iron man?) but was fun anyway. Not too keen on Gwenneth Paltrow, liked how they changed Jarvis from a human butler in the comic to a computer ai system in his house. Am interested to see where they go with the Ten Rings terrorist group and how they link it to The Mandarin without seeming racist in the next movies. Also think it's funny that Samuel L Jackson played Nick Fury as Nick Fury in the Ultimate Universe is modeled after Sam Jackson. Weird meta-fiction post-modern stuff going on there.

Can't wait for Indiana Jones. Am a little worried about it though. The previous movies are so good (Well the first and the third ones are) and it's been so long and so much build up that if this one is anything but amazing it's gonna be a disappointment.

Weired out a bit after talking to a co-worker about the batman movies. It turns out that the first michael keaton batman film came out a year before she was born (she's only 18). I remember seeing that in the theater.

Got a new computer a while ago (a macbook pro laptop) and having been having fun using it. Only I don't really need all the applications that it comes with and don't do music or movies, and feel like I should have just bought a regular macbook instead. On the plus side it was about 600 dollars cheaper because I was able to get one on clearance (only 2.2 ghz instead of the newest model which is 2.4) through the NYU computer store using my brothers student discount. I spent what I was planning on spending on a regular macbook, but could have definately saved a lot more money (and I really don't have that much to spare).

Another brother just got engaged. I don't remember if I posted bout this or not, and am too lazy to go back and check. I'm happy and excited for him. I just wish people stopped assuming this would make me unhappy for some reason as he is younger than me (they assumed the same thing when my other brother who just got married about two months ago, who is also younger - I have three younger brothers, I am the eldest). What kind of ass hole do people think I am that I'd be sad because my younger brothers found happiness first? I'm a bit jealous (not that I want to be married, but it'd be nice not to be single) I won't lie about that, but it's not an angry jealous, it's more like a be inspired jealous to make me get off my ass a bit more. And compared to the happy, the jealous is infinitesimal. And I'm psyched for the wedding. The last one was just so much fun.

In the same vein, I wish people would stop asking me when it's going to be my turn to get married. It's like they want to depress me by dredging up my singleness (this goes double for the people that mention J_ in the same sentence, as if talking about my ex who I was crazy, madly, head over heels in love with and who broke up with me, is supposed to somehow make me feel good about myself and my life? Assholes).

I just finished a short story that I'm kinda proud of and want to maybe send it out to literary magazines. But I'm still looking for some readers to give me some feedback. So if you are interested in helping me out, and reading it and letting me know what you think I'd be happy to send it to you. I'm not posting it in my fiction blog because I want to do something with it and that's just for random ideas and work I don't care as much about.

That's it I guess. Thanks for reading


Sunday, May 18, 2008

blogs to read

I started blogging a few years ago and most of the other blogs I read back then are gone now and I've culled them from my links.

So, anyone have some suggestions of blogs you like that you think I should also read?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Random tv series idea

I've been with sickness for four days and finally, today, after skipping work and spending most of my day watching all 13 episodes of Wonderfalls on DVD (thus renewing my love of Caroline Dhavernas - and I was gonna link to the last time I wrote of her, but the stupid technocrati search sucks and I don't want to go through all my old posts, so you'll just have to deal with IMDB instead).

Anyway, as I was watching a completely unrelated idea popped into my head that I think would work nicely as a tv series.

It's just a sketch as I don't really have any characters, just a basic premise. The format is an hour long drama, but hopefully this one would be a very funny hour dark comedy sort of hour long drama. A preacher, who is better at philosophizing and theological studies than actually connecting one on one with other human beings losses his faith after an accidental fireball blew up his house of worship and killed all of his parishioners. He can't get work at any other house of worship, mostly due to the fact that his last one blew up, so he is forced to work the night shift at a 24 wedding chapel, marrying inebriated couples more in love than he feels he's ever been. His life is going down the drains, disconnecting from the rest of the world, until he starts being haunted by the ghosts of all his dead parishioners, forcing him to engage in the actual world by helping the lost couples in love who stumble into his chapel in the wee hours of the morning.

Of course there would need to be other characters, and a love interest for our preacher, but I haven't come up with that yet. This is just the bud of an idea. It's kinda lame, kinda a rip off of almost all the work of Bryan Fuller, but what can you do?

Friday, May 02, 2008

5 comics that should be movies

Because I just read Cracked.com's 5 Upcoming Comic book Movies that must be stopped I decided to come up with a reverse list of comic books that probably have no chance of becoming movies, but should be.

In no particular Order:


His name is Mitch Shelley and he was created by Andy Lanning, Dan Abnett and Jackson Guice for DC comics.

He isn't a traditional superhero and his power is derived from something a bit more dark and twisted than say more wholesome yet anguished heroes, such as Superman, Spider-man or those in The Fantastic Four. He doesn't have a secret identity persay, more like an absence of an identity all together. His basic plot thread is as such: Mitch Shelley, a mob lawyer in South Carolina who, unwittingly, through his connections is subjected to an experiment in Nanotechnolgy. He is bonded with with nanomachines called Tektites, which result in his death. He is soon resurrected by the tektites lacking any memory of his previous life, and now with near unlimited super-powers. But as always there is a catch, he only has one power at a time, and in order to change from one power to the next he has to die. Once dead the tektites resurrect him, this time with a power that is a direct response to his cause of death. He is in a simultaneous search for his identity and to escape those who experimented on him in the first place. It sounds a bit cheesy, but having a super-hero, who has no desire to be one, and who has to die, usually in a painful manner, in order to survive, can make for compelling storytelling on the screen.


The image is a bit more sexist, and pandering than I would have wanted, but I couldn't find a better one at the moment. Sorry. Anyway, this is a pretty simple concept. Take The Dirty Dozen and instead of convicted murders fighting Nazi's, it's imprisoned super villains sent on black ops missions for the government that they don't want the super heroes to get involved in (or know about it). They are mostly suicide type missions, and if any survive then they get extra consideration in their next parole hearing. It's simple, a great set up for lots of killer action sequences (as super villains are generally unstable people), great special effects, a built in fan base of comic fanboys, and could also be (in the right screenwriters hands) a great comment on the overabundance of comic book heroes and the conventions that they are forced to follow.


No, this is not a super hero story. Comics don't have to have super heroes in them. In fact I'd say this is one of the best comic books I have ever read. Possibly one of the best works of fiction, period. The New York Book Review wrote that it's "A lovely, short picture novel exploring the tenacious bond between an alcoholic stage magician and his cranky mentor." There is a good deal more going on, but that is a good short summation. It's a story about love, about loss, about familial bonds, and aging. It would make a great film, in the vein of Ghost World or The History of Violence (in regards to non-super hero comic film adaptions).

HITMAN (no not the video game that was already made into a film)

I just realized a trend in my own choices, preferring anti-heroes over standard super hero fare, but still, these are good comics, so leave me alone.

Hitman is akin to Suicide Squad. Tommy Monaghan (pictured above) is a rough and tumble orphan from the poor Irish neighborhood of Gotham (which could easily be NYC) raised by a Hitman for the Irish mob. Said hitman retires and opens a small dive bar out of which Tommy now operates as a hitman in his own right. This being a super-hero comic book, Tommy is not without super-powers. He has x-ray vision, and is a mind reader. He isn't any ordinary Hitman, you only call him for the weird stuff. You need someone to steal a magic rifle forged in the old west to kill a devil, you call Tommy. Local super-hero beating up all your dealers, and selling the drugs himself, you call Tommy. I think you get the picture. He's a rogue, an imp, charming, and posses a devilish sense of humor. What's not to like?

And because I'm not as sexist as most comic books are themselves my final choice:

How is a comic called Mail Order Bride not a sexist choice, you may ask. At its heart it is a story about self discovery. I'm spacing on the characters names, but there are two main characters. The lead male role is a very geeky, very awkward, self-absorbed comic shop owner in a small town in western Canada (I think outside Vancouver, but I could just be making that up, could easily be outside Winnipeg which is not western Canada at all) who gets lonely and orders a bride from Korea. She comes over and isn't at all what he expected. Like most many western fetishes of Asia, he expects his bride to be a subservient, docile, and (in the general vein of most manga imported to this country) hyper-sexual Asian wife with a bad Asian accent. She arrives and turns out to be a very smart, shy, well educated Korean woman who signed up for the service because it was the only way she'd ever get out of Korea. The story is more about her and growth as an individual, taking classes at the local annex, making new friends, and coming out of her shell. He on other hand becomes more self-absorbed, needier, and more juvenile, getting more and more aggravated with her growth trying to keep her the pure fetishistic Asian bride he wants her to be. The comic ends on kinda a downer, and if adapted the ending would need to be changed a bit, but over all it's a very strong story of personal growth, female empowerment, loneliness, and cultural clash.

So that's my five comics that should be movies. The fact that they are all mildly obscure (Mail Order Bride being the most obscure) and that three are owned by DC comics, which itself is a subsidiary of Warner Brothers, means that if Warner doesn't think they'd make any money, no one else can do anything with them. The two indies (Jar of Fools, and Mail Order Bride) are two that if I ever get the money to option the rights myself I probably will, but I can't imagine anyone who isn't me going to a a development office and trying to pitch these comics for movies.

But it's fun to dream.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I don't post often

It's true. I don't. But I find I have less and less to actually post about. I've given up on the lists I was going to write because I realized that after I wrote them they were not only inane, but boring, and why subject any potential reader to that.

In other news, I'm getting a bit into LastFM.com and I have created a short play list I'm trying to figure out how to get on this page. If I figure it out you will be subjected to random songs from artists I'm not too familiar with myself.

The playlist will hopefully change regularly (but given that I'm the one working on it, who knows how regular I'll actually do it). And be filled with new artists I'm discovering. Most likely, since I'm not even a little bit cool or in the know, the artists in question will not be new to you. But they are new to me. Some I'll start off liking and then realize I don't care for them so much, while others might become new favorites. This is me trying to find new music without actually spending money I don't have on albums I wish I knew more about.

(So I kinda cribbed the idea from Rawbean, so what? Just because she has all the good ideas first doesn't mean that she's better than me)*

*(Alright, so she is better than me, so what?)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Week of lists part one

Following is a a list of the bands I currently have on my mp3 player

The All Girl Summer Fun Band
The Bird and the Bee
The Bad Plus
Death Cab for Cutie
The Decemberists
The Dresden Dolls
Frou Frou
Iron and Wine
Jesca Hoop
Magnetic Fields
Nellie Mckay
Neutral Milk Hotel
the Raconteurs
The Ditty Bops
Pirates of the Carribean (1 & 2) Soundtrack
Garden State Soundtrack
Cowboy Bebop Soundtrack

There might be some more but I can't think of them, and the battery died on my player so I can't look it up. but if you were ever wondering what kind of music I listened to, now you know. And knowing is half the battle. If perhaps you know these bands and would like to recommend new music for me to listen to, I'm all (no pun intended) ears.

Friday, March 07, 2008

I need to learn photoshop (though for other reasons)

This isn't exactly SFW, but it's not really NSFW (except for the tush, I guess). Anyway, this is funny and fascinating, and I'll only leave the movie up for a few days and then just put up a link for it afterwards.

And because I'm an idiot, my bank troubles quickly subsided when I realized I was trying to use my bank card, which expired this month instead of using the new one the sent me. So all that worry, and it boils down to my stupidity.

anyway, here is the video I mentioned, don't scroll down if you think a naked tush is appropriate for the computer that you are currently using.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I didn't want to do it again but...

So I really was going to start my week of lists today. Lists of a somewhat personal nature getting a bit more into my head and life than just random lists of links that I find to be interesting.

Unfortunately the machine that sells me my LIRR tickets (that's Long Island Railroad for those of you who don't know) rejected my bank card, and I know I should have at least two grand in my checking account (alright, maybe only fifteen hundred, but still). Thus I've been freaking out about it all day and can't think straight. I'm stuck at work and there isn't a bank location near where I am currently, so I have to wait until I go home to try and figure it out (if I've been robbed or identity thefted, that would truly suck, you'd think that someone would only want to do that to people who actually have money and good credit, not guys like me).

Instead I give you what I think is absolutely fabulous (no, not the tv show). Someone has posted a bunch of old Garfield comic strips, but have removed Garfield and odie, leaving only Jon behind. The strips are actually far more poignant, touching, and funny in this garfieldless version. Talk about post-structrualist post-modernism. Anyway, you should check it out because it's good and funny, and I'm going to sit at this desk and pretend that I'm not freaking out, when in fact I'm so jittery I think my eyes my pop out of my head.

Garfield minus garfield

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Why I list links (or hey it's wenesday again)

So, really, I know very few people actually read this blog. Thus, those few that do might wonder why I, every so often, post random lists of links instead of writing something moderately more interesting. The answer is twofold and pretty simple. First, I'm a pretty boring person and don't usually have something interesting to post. Second, the lists are more for me, to refer back to at a later time, as most have sparks for story ideas. That's why a lot of them are science-y in nature. If I don't compile them somewhere, then I will forget them and good story ideas go down the drain. This is just the easiest forum for me to keep track.

And on that note, more links of interest:

Humans evolving faster and faster

I don't understand it but it deals with the previous link.

Falling from heights and surviving sans parachute.

because I think Space Travel is awesome. It's mind blowing

so there isn't any story here, but this is just crazy. Rooftop tennis to the extreme.

Herbal medicine, wormood is good for the Crohns. (Wormwood is what absinthe is made out of)

Who needs a mongoose when we already have squirrels?

Growing cells into new shapes, this can be useful (for science and for my fiction)

A study as to how visual perceptions skew our mental projections and other scenes (ie we rely heavily on visual cues and create differences even when none exist)

Invisibility cloak, interesting if true.

Why we dream, rehearsals for disasters.

Wild! But maybe they only found white kryptonite

So I can watch this at home because the computer at work has no sound.

Mega64.com - check it out, looks like it could be funny.

Strange strange deaths.

I need to hear this with sound.

Genetic story idea or at least help for my own story.

Robot evolution. How robots learn to lie in order to survive.

Why would anyone actually do this? Two games played simultaniously with the same controller.

Alternate to spider-mans sticky powers.

Man returns to army after sex change operation.

The future of cyberpunk dialog. Kinda makes me wish I had a cell phone to figure this stuff out.

I don't really think that god wants it done this way. Seems to defeat the purpose of prayer.

There is a romantic comedy in here somewhere.

Cool but weird, with a potential bad turn for the rabbit, though maybe Disney would like the rights for their next animation.

A neat new theory trying to explain the universe.

I just think it's neat that we are still discovering new species on this planet. The diversity of life is just amazing.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Why only wenseday?

Why have I only been posting on Wenesdays? Well, that's an extremely boring question. Don't you have anything better to do with your time than ask something that absolutely no one either cares about, or has even noticed? If you are reading this blog, then I assume that answer to the latter n is a resounding no. Thus, I shall answer the former.

The only time I've really been at the computer with the time or inclination to write, ie haven't been working at starbucks since 5:30 in the AM, or am about to go into Starbucks to work until 11:00 in the PM, is when I am at Tribeca Productions on Wensedays and often, especially during the writer's strike, have nothing else to do. Now that the writer's strike is over, I still have little to do, hence my posting only on Wenesdays.

Some news:
I added a link to my youngest brother's new blog That Green Gentleman in my link section.

I'm getting sick, but trying desperately not to. I didn't sleep at all on Saturday night. We went out for my brother's bachelor party (not the one with the blog) and I didn't get back from Manhattan until four in the am. As I was scheduled to work at six thrity I figured sleep would just make me more tired and I stayed awake and worked my eight hour shift. I got a lot of sleep afterwards, but everytime I wear myself down like that I get sick. And always the same way too. Sore throat that turns into a runny nose and congestion headache, and is usually gone in about a weeks time. So I figure I have a few more days of drinking copious amounts of orange juice, eating lots of soup, and trying my best to stay out of the cold and rain (doens't help that I was out shoveling snow three times yesterday, and that it is horrid and cold and rainy today), drinking tea, and sleeping.

As always, good night, and good luck.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Still so sleepy

This was going to be my week of lists, where everyday was a different fun list (no not links, just random Ami thoughts) but I've been too tired to get anything together. Still working more hours than I would like, and sleeping too little. I've had a bit of fun, went out for dim sum with two freinds yesterday before work, so that was nice.

I started the ball rolling in planning a bachelor's party for my brother who is to be wed in March, but completely fell off the ball due to work, exhustion, and a bit of laziness. Lucky one of Hillel's freinds picked up the ball and there is a tentitive plan for the weekend. So I got lucky, and feel a little bad that I didn't acutally plan anything myself, just threw it out for someone else to plan.

To be honest, having written only two paragraphs I've already forgotten what my point was going to be in this post. I know I had a point when I started, but now, not even two minutes into typing this, I've lost it. I need to stop working six days a week.

And on that note, hooray brother, hopefully it will all work out. And lists shall probably come next week, if I get back on my game.

Stay happy kiddos

Also, it seems Rawbean stopped blogging again. I'd have probably known this sooner had I read her blog more frequently. But I read other people's blogs about as frequently as I post my own, which gives you a pretty good idea as to how often that is. It isn't that I don't like the blog, if I didn't I wouldn't link to it from here, just that when I don't blog myself I kinda forget about the blogging of others. it's one of those out of site, out of mind (and that was an intentional pun, site instead of sight, as in website, it's funny because they're homophones).

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Superman Returns, Again

Because I have some spare time right now, and lack of anywhere else to focus my imagination, and because sequels and superhero movies make money, I give you my thoughts as to how I would write the next Superman movie.

Ideally I would be able to start from scratch, leaving the 1978 Richard Donner Superman movie and 2007 Bryan Singer sequel/remake mythology out of it completely.

But as this is far from an ideal world (just ask Plato) for the sake of this pointless exercise, let's assume that I'd have to make it directly connected to the most recent incarnation (see Bryan Singer's sequel/remake link above).

I'm also going to assume that any reader of this entry has seen the most recent Superman movie. If you haven't, this is going to be something of a spoiler.

If you haven't seen it and are still reading because you are so completely fascinated with me, or just don't care if it's a bit ruined, here is a recap of the ending of the previous film. Superman ripped a man-made island composed entirly of kryptonite (built by one Lex Luthor) out of the Atlantic and hurled it into outer space. He nearly dies, but recovers only once he finds that he, not Richard White (Lois's fiancé) is the biological father of Lois's son Jason. Lex Luthor loses all his henchmen save Kitty and is stranded on a teeny tiny island in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but his girl Kitty, a small Pomeranian dog, a palm tree with six coconuts, and a helicopter without any fuel. The End.

And without any further ado, my thoughts for a sequel. This is only a rambling treatment, which of course would need a few polishes and revisions, but as it stands in my head right now:

We start on a boat anchored many miles off the coast of Metropolis. Here we have treasure hunters deep sea diving looking for any remnants of the Kryptonite Island that Lex Luthor built. They have no desire to kill Superman, but know that Kryptonite is an alien mineral, and have been hired by a private research firm for a tremendous amount of money to bring the mineral back for further study. Their motive is purely for profit, not for evil. Low and Behold they find a few small chunks of Kryptonite that fell off the Island as it was flung to outer space. One the way back from their successful search, coincidence of coincidences, they notice a helicopter stranded on a teeny tiny island and decide to investigate. Bum, bum, bummmmmm.

Now cut to Superman doing superman type stuff. Saving kittens from trees, Rescuing people from earthquakes, putting out fires, foiling bank robbers. That sort of thing. All the while, between each mission, flies by Lois and Richard's house checking up on his baby and baby momma so to speak. Richard, though a genuinely nice guy, starts getting a little pissed and a little jealous. He realizes very early on who Jason's real father is, as, since the first movie, Jason's Kryptonian powers start kicking in randomly, and kicking out equally as randomly. Of course Lois tries hiding it from Richard, which only puts that much more of a strain on their relationship. Jason has no idea what's going on and none of his parents, biological or in Richard's case, adoptive, tell him. Thus he's pretty freaked out.

Clark is sent by Perry to cover the newest press conference of one Professer Emmet Vale. Vale is on the forefront of robotics and is discussing his newest invention. A human like robot covered in artificial skin (think like Arnold Schwarzenegger in T1 through T3) to be sent into space and deep-sea expeditions in lieu of humans. The key is that the robots containing no intelligence of their own would be directly controlled by a human operator via some sort of remote control that was linked to their thoughts - sort of like a virtual reality machine. Using only one's brain one would control said robot over thousands of miles of distance ( yes I know that sort of radio control is impossible as instantiations transmission is physically impossible without breaking the speed of light, but if we can believe a man can fly, hopefully we can believe this sort of remote control is also possible). The only drawback to his design is the simple fact that the robot eats up a tremendous amount of energy and they haven't designed a small enough energy source capable of powering the robot for extended periods of time. Vale in the course of the press conference hints that a solution for the problem is forthcoming, and the final prototype will be unveiled by the end of the fiscal year.

Lois, crack reporter that she is, is doing research for a new story on Intergang. A shady organization focused on exploiting new technology for all its criminal needs. They don't focus on drugs, prostitution, gambling, or other protection rackets like regular organized crime. They focus on high-end weapons, computer programs, and what not in order to hack banks and government organizations, as well as break into banks and so forth. Superman is back and regular bullets and the like don't work. These guys are the 21st century of organized crime. She tracks down one of Intergang's main enforcers John Corben to try and get him to talk, but he brushes her off and threatens her that if she keeps on digging bad things may start happening to her loved ones.

Now, the boat we saw in the beginning comes into dock (yes I know it's been a long time, but this is a movie, stuff like that happens all out of order). Now, instead of the treasure hunters we met in the beginning Lex Luthor and Kitty walk ashore disguised as the treasure hunters. Lex is happy and confident. He's back in Metropolis and has the Kryptonite he needs to get his revenge. Before he can get anywhere he is confronted by Vale. Vale was the one who hired the treasure hunters in the first place, and assumes (due to the disguise) that Lex is a member of the team. Lex takes advantage of the mistake and follows Vale back to Vale's Lab (Lex is a fugitive and has no where else to go at the moment). At the lab Vale reveals that the kryptonite is intended to be used as a power source for his new robot, which he calls Metallo. There is a cavity in the Robots chest that has been retrofitted to house the kryptonite and convert the k-radiation into energy. It's not quite finished yet, however, he needed the actual kryptonite in order to finish it to the correct specification needed. Until then, the robot is actually powered by Uranium, which is not only incredibly expensive, but due to the robots power usage, goes through the uranium far to quickly to make it practical or ecologically sound.

Re-enter John Corben. He breaks into Vale's Lab in order to steal his invention, as is intergangs modus operandi. There is a struggle, Corben kills Vale, but Lex gets the drop on Corben and mortally injures him. As Corben lays dying, Lex steps over to finish him off, looks at Metallo, then at Corben, and smiles a diabolical smile. Bum, bum, bummmmm (once again).

Richard finally confronts Lois about Jason, and the frequent flyby's by the Man of Steel, but Lois won't have any of it. He earnestly wants to try talking it out, working through the hardship, but Lois plays a game of avoidance and denial, saying she can't talk now, she's too busy with her Intergang story. She's close to breaking it wide open.

At the same time Superman, due to his frequent flybys knows Jason is starting to exhibit his powers, and begins to secretly train his son. Not so much to fight crime, but to control the powers that are freaking Jason out so much. Jason, being a pretty bright kid, has very strong suspicions that Richard is not his father as he previously thought.

Lois manages to track down the head of intergang Bruno "Ugly" Mannhiem. Because in the movies Lois is impetuous (and kinda stupid) she decides to confront Mannhiem herself for her story. The exchange is heated, and Mannhiem realizes he can't let her live. He sends some of his goons after her. A bit of a chase scene, and right when everything looks the bleakest a figure from the sky crashes down and saves her from the goons. She turns and is about to say something like "thank you Superman" but realizes it's an entirely different man of steel (jeepers, am I clever!). It's Metallo who just saved her life. "I told you to stay away." Metallo says with John Corben's disembodied voice, but as he reaches to kill her he stops suddenly and voilently, as if he is not in control of his own movements. Then he grumbles something like "fine, I'll let her live, for now." before he knocks her out and bounds off for the bossman Ugly Mannheim. Metallo easily dispatches Mannheim and there is a new boss of Intergang now.

It's only then that Superman swoops in and now we have our first real super battle. It's quick, it's brutal, but Metallo is quickly running out of energy, so he uses Lois as a decoy and quickly escapes as Superman rushes to save her.

Metallo returns to Vale's Lab. There he argues with his master, Lex Luthor. He tries to attack Luthor but freezes up. Luthor has an override for his metallic assassin. It is at that time we learn that Luthor saved Corben Removing his brain and attaching it to the virtual reality device that controls the robot. Luthor used Corben because he wanted Corben's inside knowledge of Intergang. It's Luthor who's really in control.

Lois and Richard learn of Jason's secret training and they are not happy. This puts a strain on Superman and Lois's relationship. It also puts a strain on Richard and Lois's relationship. Lois and Jason become a bit emotionally distant because he knows that she lied to him about his biological father. Jason and Superman become distant again, as Lois forbids the training. The only relationship that grows stronger is the bond between Jason and Richard. Richard loves Jason just like a father (biological or adoptive) should, and Jason's love for his adoptive father only grows in admiration of Richards continual support.

Lois forbids Jason from using his powers, and Superman then agrees. Jason then becomes estranged from his biological father.

Clark does a follow up to the Vale story only to find that Vale is dead. Doing a bit of research, he finds out that the death of Vale is directly related to Intergang, and Perry assigns Lois and Clark to team up on the story. Lois is consumed with the story using it to avoid her personal life. Clark becomes the only real stable thing in her life and for the first time she starts to really appreciate him. He is safe as compared to her son, her fiancé or even her love with Superman. The love triangle gets more complicated.

Using Intergang and Metallo, Luthor starts taking over the entire Metropolis underworld. Superman begins fighting back, saving people and such, slowly catching on that it's all organized. Not realizing that Luthor is setting him up for the kill. Luthor finally is able to assemble the kryptonite energy converter to the proper specifications and carefully removes the uranium and replaces it with the kryptonite as Vale originally intended.

We're closing towards the end.

Lois, the crack investigative journalist that she is, discovers Luthor is behind the new wave of crime hitting metropolis.

She of course is taken hostage, as was Luthor's plan all along. It's up to Superman and Richard to save her.

Superman swoops in as he tends to do but is confronted again by Metallo, this time far more powerful as the Kryptonite proves to be a much stronger power source. The two men of steel duke it out. The full on sort of action that we wanted so much in the first one. Big special effects, big explosion, big hits, ect. When it looks like Superman is on top Metallo rips open his chest, exposing Superman to the deadly kryptonite held within. Richard tries to help and shield Superman from the K-radiation, but is put in mortal danger as well. Lex gets to watch it all through the monitors back in Vale's lab seeing through Metallo's eyes. He forces Lois to watch what appears to be the end for both of her lovers.

Back at the scene of the fight, Jason rushes forward wanting to help, torn between his two father figures. His powers are acting up and he can only save one of them, the other is going to die. Richard tells him to save Superman while Superman is too weak to do anything. Jason zooms forward and saves.... bum, bum, bummmm his step father Richard.

Superman remains slowly dying.

Back in the lab Lois, fearing for Superman’s life, struggles once again and manages to get free, running to the controls and remotely shutting Metallo's chest.

Superman gets up, beats back Metallo, and uses his heat vision to seal the chest cavity shut. And puts down Metallo.

The ending I'm a little unsure of. Somehow we need to get all of our characters in the same place. Superman, Richard, Lois, Jason, and Lex. Lex still has a little Kryptonite left, and for the first time, now that his powers are starting to kick in the Kryptonite affects Jason.

Of course there is a struggle, Kitty (you haven't forgotten about her have you, she was around the entire time, mostly to provide witty repartee with Luthor) lets her conscious get the better of her just like the first one, and helps save our heroes. Luthor escapes (because Luthor always escapes) and in the confusion, the machine that hooks Corben's brain the the Metallo machine is destroyed, and traps Corben's consciousness forever inside Metallo.

We end with Lois publishing the story of it all, how it was Luthor behind it all. Her relationship with Richard is almost at an end, her relationship with superman is just as strange as it always is, but now her relationship with Clark is stronger than it ever was. And on that odd note, perhaps leading the two of them to a romance in the third movie, we end leaving everything back to the status quo (with Lois of course realizing that for Jason's own safety she has to let Superman continue to train him).

Epilogue: Luthor on the lamb has a lot of cool tech and files he raided from Intergang and Professor Vale. On one such file is named: "Codename: Brianiac", and thus we end giving us a straightforward segue to the next picture.

The end.

Not the best, perhaps, but just some thoughts as to how I would do it if I was forced to work with the established source material. How I would do it from scratch is a completely different story that I suppose I'll save for another time, if anyone is actually intersted.