...Compose your blog entry in your head during the day while whatever you want to blog about is still happening, then forget it when you get home and get angry even though it's only a silly blog?
...Leave a single cookie left in the cookie jar/package/dish/ect. because you don't want to be the one to throw away or clean up said jar/package/dish/ect.?
...Pretend you don't have change when a homeless person asks you for change, because you think you might actually need or deserve those fifty-three cents more than the person with no home?
...Have gay sex dreams (or if you're gay, have straight sex dreams) and even though you aren't gay (or straight) you still find yourself aroused upon waking?
...Walk into doorposts and glass windows because you just aren't paying attention?
...Feel the urge to stand up in the middle of a street with a big sign that says "JESUS SAVES: BUT ONLY WHEN HE OPENS AN ACCOUNT AT CHASE MANHATTAN BANK."?
...Feel bad that you can name Disney's seven dwarfs*, but have no idea who the Mercury Seven are** (let alone being able to name all seven of them***)?
...Wonder why we learn all about Neil Armstrong****, but are never taught about Yuri Gagarin*****?
...Wear underwear that is clearly dirty, just because you are too lazy to do your laundry?
...Sing the wrong lyrics to a song, then try and play it off like you did that on purpose?
Yeah, I don't do those things either.
*Sleepy, Dopey, Sneezy, Happy, Grumpy, Bashful, and Doc
**The first seven American Men in Space (they went up in the Mercury Missions)
***M. Scott Carpenter, L. Gordon Cooper, John Glenn Jr., Virgil "Gus" Grissom, Walter Schirra, Alan Shepard, Donald "Deke" Slayton
****First man on the Moon
*****First man in space (he was Russian, which is why he's left out of American text books)
In Which I Cry
2 weeks ago