Monday, February 28, 2005

Damn I suck at this

So I was wrong about everything Oscar wise - except the bit about Walter Murch, but only because he wasn't nominated for anything (and he probably would have lost if he was nominated only because I said he'd win). And I guess my bit about Marin Scorcese wasn't wholly incorrect, so really it seems I only got two wrong, but that's two out of three.

On a side note, as a huge fan of Charlie Kaufman I'm very happy he won, and continue to believe that Scorcese should stop trying to get an oscar and just make the great independant minded films he used to make. In regards to everything else: I couldn't care less.

And that's that for the oscars.

And though she wasn't nominated for anything - I am and will forever be in love with Scarlett Johansson, regardless of that restraining order. One thousand yards be damned. (A bit of an aside, they are in the pre-production stages of a The Last Unicorn motion picture and she is the only one in my mind who could play Lady Amalthea, any one else cast would be a disapointment. I'm sure this will come up again on this site in the future, just wanted to get my 2 cents in now.)

Uh... Carry on then.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

oscar the grouch

Tonight is the Oscars. The beautiful night where hollywood pats itself on the back for making at least five palatable movies out of the hundreds of crappy ones it pumps out every year. Unfortunately I can't really comment on any of the films as I haven't seen any of them. That's what happens when you're poor. However, when in doubt always bet on John Williams, and Walter Murch and bet against Martin Scorcese and Charlie Kaufman.

I don't even know if Walter Murch is nominated for anything. Hell, I don't even know if he's still alive (though I'd bet money that he is). But if he is nominated he's gonna win that editing statue.

I think if they gave Scorcese an Oscar now, for The Aviator, it would be more insulting than anything else. it's like the kids at the cool table in high school horribly tormenting a dweeb who so badly wants to sit with them. All four years this dweeb has tried everything he could think of to land a seat at the cool kids table, and now, at the end of senior year, the cool kids, purely out of pity, say to the Dweeb: 'Sure come sit with us.' Every one in the lunch room knows that the dweeb doesn't belong at that table but everyone just winks and smiles like they're in on the joke. Sure the dweeb might be really great, and in the future be remembered as being greater than all the cool kids combined, accepting the dweeb this one time, and so late, just shows how much of a joke they really think of him and are just letting him sit with them this once so he shuts-up and goes on his way. That's Scorcese in a nutshell. He should just stop trying to pander to the Oscar and go back to making great independent minded films like he used to.

Charlie Kaufman is brilliant, funny, turns clich├ęs on their ears: there is no way he can win. He doesn't give us hollywood endings, he doesn't give us happy stories, or sad stories; he gives us good stories that combine many elements of human emotion that can be both happy and sad at the same time. Oscar doesn't like smart or complex. Oscar likes big, over the top, extravagant, and drama. So Kaufman is out.

I shouldn't even have to explain John Williams.

The rest I have no idea about, and only wish that the other categories (short film, short animation, documentary, ect) were more accessible. I really wish i knew where I could go to see those nominated before hand, because as it stands I don't think i've heard of any of those nominated for the aforementioned categories.

Enjoy your TV and let's all hope that Chris Rock can keep the ceremony under four hours (so far my favorite host was Steve Martin, he was funny, he was in, he was out, it was over and I didn't lose any sleep staying up till the end).

that is all for now.

Uh, carry on then...

In your ear

I didn't get the job with the ad agency, which is all very good. Direct marketing apparently is going door to door, form business to business, trying to sell coupons, and annoying the hell out of the customers and the employees of the business you are interupting.

That's just sleezy and I don't want to be one of those ass-holes.

that's it for now, Oscar info to come later.

Uh... Carry on then

Sunday, February 20, 2005

trust me little ones

What the hell is direct advertising? I have no freaking clue and yet I have a job interview on Weneseday for an ad company that specializes in Direct Advertising. They don't explain at all what it is on their website. I have a sneaking suspision that it has something to do with telemarketing; not something I really would care to do. On the plus side it gets me into Boston for the day so there's that. I'm gonna half to (by which I mean I want to) call some friends to see if they are available for a visit after my interview. I want to bring an extra pair of shoes as mine are ok to wear for a while but I don't want to be walking around boston in them.

Currently I sit in New York (Douglaston, Queens to be precise)watching the snow gently tumble down from the heavens; trying not to ease drop on my brother talking to his girlfreind over the phone. I was hoping to get into the city tomorrow to maybe see the gates they put up in central park or do something else fun only availabel to me in New York. Alas I think my day will be spent in doors, reading comic books, maybe going bowling with my siblings. Roni won't be there so maybe this time I'll win 'cause I'm better than Asaf and I'm pretty sure I can beat Hillel.

that's it for now.

Carry on then...

Monday, February 14, 2005

A poem for valentines day

Macaroni and Cheese
a prose poem

Mr. Smith had come home to his wife only to find she was dead.

“You’re dead?” He asked.

“No, I’m just resting face down on the cold kitchen floor. Or course I’m dead you idiot.” She yelled at him.

“Did you make me any dinner?”

“Yes, there is some Macaroni and Cheese in the refrigerator. You just have to put it in the oven for about fifteen minutes and it will be ready.”

“Thank you.” Mr. Smith said as he stepped over his wife's body and opened the refrigerator to get to his macaroni and cheese. “As long as I’m here do you want anything?” Mr. Smith asked politely.

“No you idiot. I’m dead.”

“No need to get snippy.” Mr. Smith said. “Boy, you sure are cranky when you’re dead.”

Short story in honor of valentine's day

The Happy Couple

Mr. Smith was walking home one day to notice a large skeletal foot sticking out of the ground. Carefully so that no child would trip over it Mr. Smith decided to pull it out of the dirt. The foot however was stuck and refused to move from it’s designated spot. Mr. Smith being a nice man took off his coat and started digging. It wasn’t too long until Mr. Smith had uncovered an entire skeleton.

“What business have you here?” The Skeleton asked Mr. Smith.
“Why? I just wanted to move your foot so that no child would trip as they walked home from school.” Mr. Smith replied.
“And you just decided to move my foot without asking?” The Skeleton asked angrily.
“I meant no disrespect, just looking out for the children you know.”
“Well I’m awake now and it always takes me forever to fall back to sleep. Do you mind keeping my spot warm as I run off for a cup of tea.”

Not knowing what else to do Mr. Smith sat down in the hole he had dug as the skeleton walked away.
“When will you return?” Mr. Smith called after the calcium clad creature that slowly vanished in the distance.
“Never you worry about that.” The Skeleton replied and continued on it’s way.
“But you aren’t dressed so no one will sell you tea.” The Skeleton realized the truth to the statement, turned around and very nicely asked to borrow Mr. Smith’s clothes.
“Here you go.” Mr. Smith said as he climbed back into the hole naked. “It is the least I can do.”

Later after Mr. Smith had fallen asleep in the Skeletons bed some children happened to be walking home from school.
“Oh no, an open grave, we should fill it up so that no adult falls in and hurts themselves.” One of the children said. So the other children began filling up the hole with Mr. Smith inside. As they finished they walked away proud they had potentially saved a life.

The Skeleton returned not much later with a cup of tea in hand unable to find his resting place. It was then that Mrs. Smith was out drving the town looking for her husband.
“Get in the car you silly old man.” Mrs. Smith said to the Skeleton. “I leave you alone for a day and you lose too much weight. Come home dear husband so that I may fatten you up once agian.” The Skeleton just shrugged, got into the car and drove home. “I can’t leave you a second with out you getting into trouble.” Mrs. Smith said. The skeleton said nothing, not knowing how to respond.

When Mr. Smith awoke later he cursed the skeleton who he beleived had tricked him. He tried to climb out of the ground but then died from lack of oxygen.

Mrs. Smith and the Skeleton lived happily ever after.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

A prose poem

The would be Angel

An Angel decided to see what it was like being a man so it grew a penis and went to Earth.

“Hey, look at that funny looking angel.” A little boy said to his sister.

“I’m not an angel, I’m a man, look at my penis.” The Angel retorted.

“No you aren’t.” The sister said. “Men don’t walk around naked.” So quickly the angel put on some pants.

“See, I’m a man.” The Angel said now dressed.

“No you aren’t. Men don’t have wings.” The brother said.

“Oh.” So the Angel took off it’s wings and placed them on the ground. Quickly the brother and sister each took a wing held hands and started to fly.

“Hey! Where are you going with my wings?” The Angel asked.

“Your wings? They can’t be your wings.” The airborne couple replied.

“Why not?” The Angel asked angrily.

“Because men don’t have wings.” The siblings said as they flew up to heaven.

“I guess not.” The man admitted as he watched the two children grow smaller in the distance.

Friday, February 11, 2005

here we are once again

So it's a few hours past midnight and I have nothing to do, thus I write an entry to this blog.

I'm applying to jobs, being unemployed, that's what one does, or needs to do, otherwise, one is stuck with no money, stranded from friends, living at home with one's mother. I'm not talking about anyone in specific here, just a general observation. Anyway, I'm applying to jobs. One thing I hate (among the many things I hate) are most of the jobs I find interesting posted on craigslist. For instance. Today I sent my resume to a what sounds (based solely on the description) to be a promising position. The problem, the company name isn't listed anywhere in the post, and the only contact info is an anonymous e-mail address. Is this a legit job? Is it some scam just to get e-mail address's from unsuspecting dopes like me? How can I verify that they actually got my resume? It is so very discouraging.

In other news; I've come to the realization that though my grammar is less than desireable, I can't stand when other people's grammar is incorrect. Call me hypocritical (just don't call me a hippo, oh what a bad pun!), but that's where I stand. This realization, this epiphany, became the motivating factor for taking "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" from the library. This book is highly entertaining and has only increased my distaste of bad grammar and those who use it. Myself included, as one can clearly see based on this blog alone.

A joke comes to mind (I don't know if I made this up, very likely because the more I think about it the less funny it seems to be)

Jimmy turns to his roommate after finishing his first college paper. "Finished." Jimmy says.
"Let me look it over." His roommate replies, "I'm a strict grammarian."
"Oh, sure," says Jimmy, "But what does your religion have to do with anything?"

Like I said, not very funny.

That's all for now.

carry on then.

Thursday, February 10, 2005


I'm too bitter.

It's snowing again.

Goddamn it!

I wish I had something happy to write.

Why does everyone suck, including me? It would be better if I wasn't included, but I've got to be realistic on this one.

Today's been one of those days where, as warren ellis put it best, (paraphrase) If you really loved me you'd all kill yourselves today.

My life sucks and it's no one's fault but my own.

I wonder if this is what it means to hit rock bottom. I hope so, because I don't want to get any lower than this, and I don't even smoke, or drink, or get stoned any more.

I should go to sleep.

I'm never going to fall asleep tonight.

I saw eternal sunshine of the spotless mind today. I've seen it before. It might be only me, but that movie depresses the hell out of me when I see it. I mean it's a brilliant peice of cinema, I just can't help but feel depressed after watching it.

I've got to get a life.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

For the love of pete, or, why do I suck?

So I joined It's a web site where people post short films and feature length screenplays, and the other members give it feedback and reviews. I posted a screenplay that I know needs some work, but I needed direction as to what I parts I should work on. I tried very hard to be subtle, cute, and to a certain extent fall in the category of magical realism.

it was panned. Completely. I'm getting horrible reviews. that unto itself isn't bad. I know it needs work, that's why I posted it. My problem is this. I just read a screenplay posted by a fellow member that was horrible. Really bad. It was supposed to be a romantic comedy but was neither romantic (unless you confuse romance for lust) nor was it comedy. It was the same old generic attempted twist of Cyrano De Bergerac. It was god awful. And it's doing leaps and bounds better than mine on the site.

Like I said, I wasn't expecting mine to be considered brilliant, or even in the top 100 of the site (there are near 2000 postings) I just didn't expect it to be so (nearly 900 places) far behind this obvious piece of crap.

And this isn't me being belligerent because i was panned. There are plenty of scripts I've read on that site that deserve to be ahead of mine. Ones that are clearly superior to mine, I respond accordingly on the site when I review them. It just depresses me that there is no accounting for taste, or that too many people have bad taste.

I guess that's my rant for today. Most people suck, what else is new?