Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Sweets before bed

I had a dream where I was the king of all marshmallows, only there was an attempted violent coup d'etat with military backing from the neighboring ocean of swedish fish. This of course led to war. I fought them as hard as I could with my army of gumdrop armed marshmallow men and women (as all my dreams exist in a perfect egalitarian world). The battlefield was strewn with the dismembered remains of gummy and marshmallowy guts. Sweet syrupy sugar blood carmilized the killing grounds tan.

In the end we were conquered by the swedes and I was forced to abdicate my licorice throne. They kept trying to put me to death, but my flesh and bone body was far too strong for their toffee gullitine.

Instead they decided to drown me in a tank of butterscotch, where the gooey liquid would congeal around me like amber over a fly, and I'd be put on display as the only man ever to rule over candy - their once and future king.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

What an odd dream. Are you, perhaps, thinking of sweet goodies associated with the many holiday celibrations around this time of year? The marshmallow makes me think of sweet potato casserole; the gumdrops make me think of gingerbread houses and the butterscotch/toffee/caramel makes me think of the delectable filling in a great baklava. Were there nuts? (no innuendo!) Candied fruits for fruitcake? But, how does fish play into this? Is it a traditional dish for this time of year for you? I'm reaaaaaaaallllllyyyyyyy hungry, now. Everyone keeps posting about food and it's just no fair! :)

amber said...

i want whatever drugs you have.

Big Ben said...

I had a dream I had to fight to girls becuase they were planning to murder my friend.

I don't usually dream about marshmellows.

Anonymous said...

I like the Once and Future King.

I had a dream that I pierced a naughty place.

slopmaster said...

King of all marshmellows!

That would be awesome. Did you have a harem? Could you get it hard? Man I'm sick.

rawbean said...

I love this post. So well written. Seriously!

annspam said...

With a few twists here and there it could make a pretty good horror movie.

The Revenge of the Sweets!

limpy99 said...

Whatever you're eating before bed, stop it.