Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Villany is wrong

I urge everyone in this great nation of ours (well, the world too I guess, but really I'm currently just concerned with the US of A at the moment) to stop doing evil. To stop comitting crimes.

The simple reason, it's not because of any moral, ethical, or religious imperitive; or even for some altruistic, "let's make this world a better place" nonsense. That's a suckers game. Simply put: I hate jury duty. And for my sake, so I never have to sit through another ridiculously long and boring day down at the court building, stop comitting crimes and getting into accidents. People out there who do bad deeds, get into car accidents, sue because you spilled coffee on yourselves, whatever, I really don't care what it is specifically, just stop doing it!

I've had jury duty before in Massachusetts, but apparenly in New York being called to Jury duty means you become five years old once again. Not only are the same things explained over and over again, in a tremendously condescending tone - nearly ad nauseum - explaining what we are supposed to do, why jury duty is important, how we should do what we should do, when to eat, when to go to the bathroom, where to go, and what we are supposed to do when we get there - but it seems that mentally the potential jurors regress to a five year old mentality. Not only do they ask a continuous stream of the same questions over and over about the dumbed down instructions ("go to room 384". "raise your hand if I call your name", "Don't raise your hand if I call someone else's name", "Jury duty is important for freedom/justice/the american way") but they whine constantly. Oh my god the whining. Suck it up people. If you have to be there, try not to make it umbearable for everyone else.

17 comments:

whatigotsofar said...

What's your opinion if I chose to waive my right for trial by jury and be tried solely by a judge?
Aaah, screw it. That's too much work. I'll just stay home instead. Let someone else loot, maim and pillage.

Princess Pessimism said...

this would be AMAZING!!! I would LOVE to be in a jury for something. I mean, how much better to imput yourself into something.

This would be incredible for me.

rawbean said...

Are you really doing jury duty?????

That's like something that would happen in a movie - but you do have a really interesting accent (which relates how? I don't know).

Anonymous said...

I'm back, for what it's worth...

Nonny said...

I've always managed to get out of jury duty. Though I think I'd actually enjoy it. I'm a freak like that.

Btw, remember your awesome "Iron Chef" game for the Wii? It's already been done!!! It's called "Cooking Mama".

piu piu said...

do u get paid to do it???

Big Ben said...

I'm actually looking forward to Jury duty, hopefully it will be a cool case. Not looking forward to getting paid $5 a day, but whatever.

Amichai said...

WhatIgotsofar - staying home is in fact the best way to go, as far as villany is concerned anyway.

PP - er, I have been on a jury and I have to tell you, it was inane and very boring. Then again it was a civil case where two janitors were sueing a trash compacter company for back injuries. I wanted to shoot myself. (I was not chosen for a jury this most recent time in NY).

Lady K- welcome back.

Rawbean - I was not chosen for a jury this time (snuck by on the skin of my teeth). And I speak normally, it's everyone else who has funny accents.

Nonny - So far I'm one out of three for actually being chosen for a jury. Contrary to how the movies and tv make it seem, it's very boring, filled with legal jargon, and the judge interupts every five minutes to explain how the law works, stretching what could be fifteen minutes into an hour of court time. unless you get a really cool case, most of the time it's really boring civil suits. And I don't know from "cooking mama" but it just goes to show you that the big corporations are traveling through time and stealing my best ideas.

Piu - One does get paid, but not a lot. In Massachusetts, it was 50 bucks a day, in NY it's 40.

Ben - Hopefully you get a cool case too because most are just boring.

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Susan said...

Hey there - I one of those occassional lurkers who read but never comment....
Heard a bit on NPR about the Dresden Dolls and remembered reading about you playing them. If you go to NPR's website there is a pretty cool article.

slopmaster said...

Never had to do it, and hope I never had to, although, it seems like it would be good blogging material.

Anonymous said...

Jury duty sucks, for all of the reasons you listed and then some. Unfortunately, out here, potential jurors ALREADY have the mental capacity of a 5 year old. Even the judges, on occassion. If I ever have to stand before a judge and jury, I certainly hope it's in a suburbian or urban area...with far fewer 5 year olds. Hey, Ami... I double-dawg-dare you to raise your hand when you're not supposed to. And whine that you have to "go potty" at least once an hour. hehehehe

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