It is odd to me that there are some people out there, few though they may be, who are actually reading this blog. When I started this, not so long ago I was sure I'd give it up in a matter of days, getting bored with the concept. I told none of my friends that it existed (save one) nor any of my family (though they eventually found it, it's impossible to hide anything online). I assumed that it would never be read, my lone empty corner of the internet. As it turns out, I've kept it up, surprisingly so. And now, every so often I find a comment posted by people I don't know. I've realized this is as famous as I'll ever be so, without further ado, there are some people I'd like to thank for helping me get this far.
First and foremost God. If it wasn't for God's constant torment and mental abuse I would never have anything to write about.
I'd like to thank my second grade teacher, my favorite teacher of them all, Mrs. um... whatsherface. Almost daily she give me special attention; she'd take me aside and say, "Amichai, stop picking your nose." Words I keep in my heart to this very day.
I'd like to thank my manager. Everyday I'd come into work he'd say, "Amichai, you're late. We need french fries NOW!" The best times were had when we'd joke together. I'd ask for a raise and he'd give me a pay cut and threaten to deport me. Good times, good times.
I would like to thank the internet, and offer my apology. Turns out you aren't just good for Porn. My bad.
Thank you Emerson college for giving me an education, but failing to teach me how to use it.
Thank you Mira Sorvino (she knows why...)
Thank you to all my family, except for Felix (He knows why...)
And finally, thank you girl who lives across the street and doesn't close the blinds. You don't know me but I've been watching you and could not be any more appreciative.
Uh... carry on then.
Black Thanksgiving 2017
5 days ago