Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Birthday Blog

My youngest brother Asaf has officially turned 18 as of today! He can get drafted and vote; he can buy lottery tickets, cigarettes and porn. He can also purchase items previously unavailable to him in stores; that's right, the home shopping network and other special TV adds have opened their arms to him with all the useless gadgets the world has to offer - provided he's willing to shell out only four payments of $19.95 (plus shipping and handling).

And the final nail in the coffin that was his youth: he can have consensual sex with someone his own age legally and not be accused of statutory rape (not that he was ever accused of statutory rape, justing saying that as long as he stays sexually active within his own age group he'll never have to worry about it - also, who would want to rape a statue anyway?). That's right boys and girls, the government no longer has any say regarding his sex life.

But the happiness doesn't stop there. Not only is it Asaf's birthday today but Lily, Hillel's (the eldest of all three of my younger brothers) girlfriend, was born 24 years ago today. This isn't that big of a step for her as she can already purchase lottery tickets, cigarettes, porn, and the other junk only available through this special one time TV offer. But it is a momentous day for her as well because; well, just because it's fun to enjoy a birthday. I do feel bad for her though, she is allergic to wheat and it's difficult to find a birthday cake she can eat. Last weekend Hillel did a test run for a chocolate cake using spelt flour instead of wheat from a recipe in Gourmet Magazine. They way I see it, that's true love.

Happy birthday to all and to all a good night (or afternoon, or whatever time is when you read this)

6 comments:

Nonny said...

Dude you are so lucky, I was this close to posting something really scathing about your lack of posting. Ok, it was probably gonna be a polite plea for more consistent posting, but with a hint of sarcasm.

Amichai said...

Thank heavens that I posted. And tune in tomorrow because I got a big one I've been working on for a while now that I think after one final spit polish it'll be ready to go up tomorrow.

fancy as fuck said...

i want to screw you

Amichai said...

er... thank you?

fancy as fuck said...

my place 730 please shower before

Amichai said...

This wouldn't be so creepy if I knew who the hell Fancy as Fuck is.