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Just finished my third day at Starbucks. The register seems more complicated than it needs to be - but that's neither here nor there.
Turns out the cute girl at work is only 17. For three days I thought she was at least 20. I have too many dirty thoughts running through my head for her to only be 17. If you need me I'll be taking a very long cold shower trying hard not to be the weird 25 year old leering at high school girls. I don't want that to be me. That guy is just creepy.
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6 comments:
welcome to my hell.
Congratulations Amichai!
Enjoy a Chai Latte and an Oat Bar for me...mmm Oat Bar - hurts my stomach but oh so delicious.
It doesn't make you a perv, it just makes you a dude. Wait three more years and she will be 20, oh wait that would mean working at Starbucks for three more years....never mind.
I bet she has a crush on "the older guy" :)
NOT YOUR FAULT, DUDE!!
Not your fault!
Our respective spiritual upbringings (Catholic and Jew) have instilled some mad crazy guilt and we take blame for shit that we didn't cause.
Society is growing these chicks younger and younger. When WE were 17 (I'm a year or so older than you), girls that looked like that WERE 20. 17 year old chicks looked 12 and we went home and had wet dreams about the older girls. Now, we're stuck being 25/27 and the 27 year olds are married, with child, or look like their 40 (or just plain annoying as hell). The 17 year olds look 21. And where are the 21 year olds? Who knows. Someone has them somewhere. My hope is that they are being preserverd and sometime in the next two years they'll be released into a human form of stocked fishing pond and only males born between '77 and '81 can fish.
I'd like to order a Grasshopper, but #1 not all Starbucks have them (or know what they are) and #2 I don't know how to chose a cup size at Starbucks...but I want the one that is like 16 or 20 ounzes...the one not the smallest, but the next one up from that...
It has nothing to do with Jewish guilt. She is illegal, as in underage. She can't even vote.
I don't know if this helps you at all, but when I was 17, my husband and I were engaged. We got married less than 4 months after I turned 18. He was 20. We had all the fun of a "grown up" relationship before I was legally a grown up. Of course, my dad was way too worried about my husband quitting his job (Philip worked for Daddy and was his best employee!) to ever attempt to get him on statutory anything.
Besides, Honey. You don't have to boink her. You can fantasize about her while playing with pastries. Hah!
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